Characters belong to SM and the beautiful music that inspired this piece belongs to Ryan Tedder and his band of musical geniuses. The rest is all from me.
Epilogue
-Five years later-
Bella's road to recovery was long, and it was something that impacted our entire
family. Even after she returned to our house she had to spend months meeting
with physical therapists, speech therapists, and occupational therapists. She
worked to get back to her normal functioning level, and when she did, things
weren't the same.
Five years later her motor skills still weren't where they used to be, and it
sometimes took longer than normal for her to problem solve or make decisions.
But beneath it all, she was still Bella—the sweet, sometimes foul-mouthed girl I
had fallen in love with so many years ago. Her smile could still light up a room
and her kisses never failed to leave me weak in the knees.
I spent weeks mulling over how to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary.
Jasper and Emmett thought I should pull out all the stops, especially after
everything we had been through following our 25th. In the end I decided on
simple, knowing full well that Bella would love it.
At seven o'clock sharp I made Bella put a blindfold on and led her out to the car.
The property off Rural Route 1 no longer belonged to the Stanley family, but the
new owners were kind enough to let me use the meadow that night. I pulled to
a stop and helped Bella out, steering her toward the woods.
Sometime in the last three decades someone cleared a path to our favorite
place, making it much easier for people to get out there. I kept my hand on the
small of Bella's back as we walked, and before long the meadow came into
sight.
A small table with two place setting sat in the middle of the grass, lit by a
collection of tea light candles. A picnic basket lay on the ground next to a
portable boom box, and a small Tiffany box was strategically placed at one place
setting.
"Happy Anniversary," I whispered, guiding Bella to her chair and pulling the
blindfold off. Her face lit up as she took in the sight.
"Edward, it's…"
"Good?"
She laughed. "Putting it lightly, yes."
"Perfect." She took a seat and I pushed her chair in, then rounded the table and
sat down myself. Bella noticed the jewelry box and gave me a look.
"What is this?"
I pushed it toward her. "Open it and find out." She picked the box up and
tugged the ribbon off. When she lifted the lid, she gasped and covered her
mouth with one hand.
"I saw it and knew I had to get it for you." I stood up and joined her on the
other side of the table. The necklace had a white gold chain with a heart shaped
pendant attached to it. The pendant was surrounded by diamonds, which
sparkled in the candlelight.
"It's beautiful," she whispered. I reached around her and removed the necklace
from the box. She held her hair to the side as I slipped the chain around her
neck and clasped it.
"You're beautiful," I said once I was seated. She tilted her head to the side,
causing a few curls to fall in her eyes. When she tucked them back, that smile
that I loved was spread across her face.
"I don't know how I got so lucky," she said, reaching out and taking my hand.
"I could say the same thing." I grabbed the picnic basket and pulled out the
food I'd packed, setting it up for us to enjoy. We ate in silence, stealing glances
at each other and looking up at the stars. It was a perfect night to be outside,
and once we finished our food I stood and held out my hand.
"Dance with me?"
Happiness twinkled in Bella's eyes. "Is this an ode to all those cheesy school
functions I made you attend?"
I pulled her up and started the music. It floated around us and my hands found
her hips. As we swayed to the song, she rested her head on my shoulder.
"If I'd had my way, we'd of never stepped foot in that high school gymnasium
for a single one of them," I admitted. Her chest shook with laughter.
"This dance beats them all," she said a minute later.
I leaned back and tipped my head down, gazing into her eyes. "And why is
that?" She pointed her face to the sky in response. "Ah, yes. Your favorite North
Country feature."
"It is the beauty of the night that sets this one apart from the others," Bella
admitted. "But the stars, they're no longer my favorite thing about this place."
Her response puzzled me. "Oh really?" She nodded. "Then what is?"
Bella stopped moving, sliding her hands forward until they rested against my
chest. "You and me."
Her words hit me like an arrow straight to the heart. I was overcome with
emotion as I pushed her hair away from her face, cupped her cheeks with my
hands, and kissed her. I would never tire of the way her lips felt as they moved
against mine, or the sweet taste of our tongues dancing together.
When I pulled away she was breathless, skin flushed red and eyes full of love.
She grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me back to her, skimming her nose
along my jaw and whispering in my ear. "Edward?"
"Yes?"
"Take me home."
So I did.
Characters belong to SM and the beautiful music that inspired this piece belongs to Ryan Tedder and his band of musical geniuses. The rest is all from me.
Chapter 9
-2013-
The days that followed Bella's return to consciousness were anything but easy to
witness. Still we all kept strong, and with support from friends and loved ones,
my wife made a full recovery.
At first, she could only keep her eyes open for a few minutes at a time. She'd
wake periodically throughout the day, but would fall asleep again almost
instantly. It took about a week for her to get to the point where she could stay
awake for longer stretches of time, but once she got there, the first thing Bella
did was try to remove her breathing tube. Dr. Weber said this was a common
thing, as the presence of the tube was typically anxiety provoking for conscious
patients. It took four nurses to keep her from destroying the ventilator and
injuring herself further, and after that they switched her to a bed that came
equipped with restraints. Angela gave Bella just enough of a sedative to keep
her comfortable but still conscious, and explained that they would have to wait
another few days before attempting to wean her off of the ventilator.
By the end of the following week she was able to breathe independently, and
the ventilator was fully removed. She still wasn't speaking though, and Dr.
Weber tried her best to offer me some reassurance.
"It's like riding a bike for the first time after being off of one for years," she
explained. "You're a little shaky for a few miles or so while your legs get
acclimated to the pedaling motion, and it might take falling down a few times
for you to remember how to balance yourself and stay upright. Think of Bella's
speech as the bike and her vocal chords as the nervous rider. Those vocal
chords have been dormant for over a month. Bella seems to remember the
basics of speaking, as evidenced by how she tries to move her mouth and form
words, but her vocal chords aren't used to working. They need some time to
learn how to ride that bike again."
Though she had trouble with her expressive communication, Bella's receptive
communication skills didn't seem to suffer. She understood words and phrases,
could answer yes or no questions with a nod or shake of her head, could point
to pictures of family members and friends, and was able to write out longer
answers to things. She knew what year it was, that I was her husband, and that
we had three children. She knew the name of the town we lived in and how old
she was. All of these were good signs, because it meant that there was a good
chance her cognitive abilities weren't altered by the accident.
Tanya brought Kate and Riley up to hospital each day after school, and the
minute they entered the room Bella's eyes would light up. They would sit by her
side, showing her schoolwork they did well on and telling her every last detail
about their day. We'd trek down to the cafeteria around dinnertime, bringing
our trays back up so that we were able to eat when Bella did, together as a
family. It wasn't what we were used to, but it became our new routine, and the
look on Bella's face each night as we packed up to leave told me that she
enjoyed it.
Once Bella's condition became stable, Dr. Weber had her transitioned to a
rehabilitation facility. Speech continued to be an ongoing struggle, though Bella
was able to say a few words by the time she left St. Mary's. After a month of
working with a speech therapist, my wife was able to put together sentences,
though they didn't always make sense. It was difficult to watch how frustrated
she got when she couldn't express herself the way she wanted, but at the same
time I was just happy to see her awake and alive.
Three months after Bella returned to us she was given the green light to truly
come home, to our house in Bruno. Despite my protests, Rose and Alice set up
a little party for her, inviting close friends, family, and a few of the staff
members from St. Mary's. I thought my wife wouldn't be ready for such
festivities, but it turned out she loved it.
"I think she's having fun." Rose elbowed me in the side and tipped her wine
glass toward where Bella stood. She was laughing at something Angela had
said, and I couldn't deny that it certainly did look like she was enjoying herself.
A ripple of emotion bubbled up inside me, leaving me feeling choked up and
almost breathless. Four months ago I wasn't sure if I'd ever see my wife stand
again, let alone walk through our front door. Now there she was, moving
between guests and greeting them with hugs while sipping on a bottle of her
favorite craft beer. Her mere presence made our house feel like a home again,
and for the first time in a long time, everything felt complete.
Later that night, after everyone had gone home and Alice and I had finished
cleaning up, I joined Bella in our bedroom. She was standing in front of the bay
window that overlooked our land with her palms pressed flat against the glass,
watching as the last rays of sun disappeared from the sky.
I stepped up behind her and slid my arms around her waist. She leaned back
into me and tipped her head onto my shoulder.
"I'm so happy." She didn't have to say the words for me to know how she felt.
Her emotions were alive everywhere in all her features, from her eyes to her
smile to the rose colored glow that covered her skin.
I tightened my grip on her and bent my head down, resting my chin on her
shoulder. I pressed a kiss into the skin below her ear and whispered the words
I'd been waiting so long for her to hear.
"Welcome home."
Characters belong to SM and the beautiful music that inspired this piece belongs to Ryan Tedder and his band of musical geniuses. The rest is all from me.
Chapter 8
- 1989 to 2013-
Tanya Jane Cullen was born on July 23, 1989. Renee was there to catalog her
granddaughter's childbirth, much to Bella's horror. We came home from the
hospital three days later, with no idea what we were doing or how to be
parents.
Our college plans vanished when Renee told us we had to get our own place a
few months later. She said she'd paid her dues in the parenting department,
and didn't sign up to house a newborn in addition to the two of us. So, we got
our own apartment, but no matter how hard we tried, we just couldn't make it
work. Daycare was too expensive, so Bella had to stay home with Tanya,
leaving my piddly income to take care of us all. We were constantly late with
rent, and eventually our landlord stopped being understanding and evicted us.
We had nowhere to go and no idea what we were going to do. We fought all the
time, about things like the light bill and our decision to elope. Even though my
relationship with my parents had become strained when we left, I reached out
to my mom, because I didn't have anyone else to talk to. She could sense how
miserable we both were, and one night she offered us the out that would save
our relationship.
"Come home."
I wanted to protest, but I just couldn't.
"Your father and I can help you," Esme continued. "You can stay with us and I'll
watch Tanya. You can go to school and get back on your feet, Bella can work on
her relationship with Charlie and … it's a good choice all around, Edward. Come
home."
Bella and I talked that night, and through her tears, she agreed it was the best
option for us.
We moved back to Minnesota at the end of the month. My parents picked us up
at the airport, and I'd never been so happy to see them. Esme surprised us with
a welcome home party, which all of our high school friends were in attendance
for, and my uncle offered to pay me if I wanted to work in his woodshop, which
I absolutely did.
Over the course of the next six months Bella explored her college options, and
she decided she wanted to study nursing at The College of St Scholastica. She
researched scholarships, applied for the program, and in the fall of 1990 she
became a full-time student.
Woodworking turned out to be the one thing I excelled at, and before long I was
handcrafting furniture. I used my parent's garage as a showroom and pocketed
as much of my earnings as possible. By the time Bella was in her junior year of
nursing school we were able to buy a small piece of property on the outskirts of
Bruno. It was perfect for the three of us, with enough land to build a bigger
house and a shop for me.
Bella graduated with honors in the spring of 1994 and was offered a job at St.
Mary's Hospital in Duluth, the same place she'd done her clinical rotation. It had
taken a while for them to fix things, but Charlie was there at her
commencement, sitting in the chair next to me with Tanya on his lap. Part of
him would always see me as the country bumpkin who ran off with his
daughter, but he accepted our relationship for what it was and we always
treated one another with respect.
Our son Riley was born in the fall of 1996, and our youngest daughter, Kate,
arrived in the spring of 1999. By then we needed more space, so we had
Emmett design us a house, which had a showroom for my furniture attached to
it. We were able to raise our family in a comfortable spot, with our close friends
and loved ones nearby. Life slowed to a good pace, and after enduring all of the
chaos we'd inflicted on ourselves during our teenage years, everything finally
fell into place. We still fought occasionally, but then we'd talk things out and
make up. We watched our kids grow older and enter their teenage years, and
sometimes late at night we'd stay up, reminiscing about the trouble we caused
and praying that they wouldn't throw it back at us tenfold.
We celebrated twenty-five years of wedded bliss in the summer of 2013. Fall
was soon upon us, and then the accident happened.
It was a Friday in October—the 18th to be exact—and I was busy in my shop.
Mrs. Black had ordered an entertainment center, and I was in the midst of
carving an intricate design into each of the legs when my phone rang.
"Shit," I muttered, setting my tools down and heading off to my office. I hated
interruptions, and when I saw "private" flashing across the screen, I got even
more irritated. "What?" I huffed out.
"Is this Edward Cullen?"
"Yes. Can I help you?"
"This is Deputy Daum from the Carlton County sheriff's department. There's
been an accident, Mr. Cullen. Your wife was air lifted to St. Mary's Hospital." I
gripped the phone tightly and fell to my knees. "Mr. Cullen?"
"Yes."
"I'm going to patch you through to the hospital." The next few hours passed by
in a blur. I listened as the emergency room staff spoke to me about brain
injuries, increased intracranial pressure, and hematomas, but the words didn't
sink in or make any sense. I was shaking so bad I couldn't drive, so I called
Emmett and asked him to come and get me. I couldn't see Bella for hours
because they'd rushed her straight into surgery, and when I finally did see her,
the sight ripped my heart out. The whole left side of her head was bruised, she
had tubes coming out of everywhere, and even though she was unconscious, I
could tell she'd endured a tremendous amount of pain.
Angela told me the details of the crash; how the drunk driver coming at her had
crossed the median and hit my wife head on, sending her car toppling down a
steep hill and causing her head to slam had against the driver's side window.
She told me that Bella was unconscious and unresponsive, and that the
information on the CT scans led them to place her in a drug-induced coma. She
sucked the life right out of me with each word she spoke, and when she was
done, I had no idea what I was going to do.
Time passed in slow motion after that. Each day I found myself waiting for
answers that might never come. I stayed strong for the kids, but at night, when
I found myself alone in the bedroom Bella and I once shared, the fears I worked
so hard to push down all day reared their ugly heads, threatening to consume
me. I was lost, spinning in circles and wondering if I'd ever get my life back.
All it took was one small gesture—Bella opening her eyes—to breathe life back
into me, and push me out of my funk.
Characters belong to SM and the beautiful music that inspired this piece belongs to Ryan Tedder and his band of musical geniuses. The rest is all from me.
Chapter 7
-2013-
"What does that machine do?" Kate asked, pointing to the tube that disappeared
into Bella's mouth. I was tempted to tell Angela to ignore her question, because
we'd gone over it every time Kate had come to the hospital, but I knew I
couldn't do that. She was just as anxious about her mother's condition as the
rest of us were, and asking the same question ten different times was simply
the way she expressed that.
"It's a ventilator," Dr. Weber explained. "Your mom has been asleep for such a
long time that her lungs forgot how to work. So the ventilator helps her breathe.
It pumps oxygen into her body and pulls carbon dioxide out."
Kate scrunched her nose up and cringed. "Does it hurt?"
"We gave her some medicine so she can't feel it." Angela's answer seemed to
relax my daughter, to the point that she managed to stay quiet for a whole ten
minutes.
"When is mom gonna wake up?" I looked at Tanya, who went to Kate's side.
"Do you want to go get some ice cream in the cafeteria?" Kate nodded.
"Can I go too?" Riley asked.
"That's fine." I pulled out my wallet and handed Tanya a twenty. Once all of the
kids were out of the room, Angela closed the door.
"Is there anything I can do for you, Edward?"
"Make her wake up," I offered. Angela smiled sadly.
"I would if I could." She pulled up Bella's chart and entered a few things in it.
"I'm going to do my ward rounds, but I'll be back when I'm done. If anything
should happen, press the call button and a nurse will be here."
I lowered one of Bella's bed rails and sat down gently on the mattress. Though
the coma-inducing drugs had left her system, there had been no changes
whatsoever to her physical appearance. Her skin remained pale, her eyes were
closed, and the only movement was the up and down motion of her chest as the
ventilator did its work.
I'd fought to keep Bella by my side on numerous occasions throughout life, but
this fight—the one her body was waging against everything and everyone—was
like nothing I'd ever experienced. I'd thought that knowing she was no longer
heavily medicated would make things easier on all of us. I thought that it would
take away some of the worry we felt and maybe even spark a bit of excitement
inside of us. As it turned out, the absence of her medically induced coma only
made me more anxious. Each breath from the ventilator was another breath she
wasn't taking on her own. Each beep of the monitors marked another heartbeat
that she probably couldn't even feel, and each minute that passed by was
another minute this woman—the love of my life, mother of my children, and
most amazing person I'd ever come to know—was still unconscious.
"Damnit, Bella!" I shouted to the empty room. The anger that had been
simmering just below the surface was finally boiling over. I was on the verge of
having the meltdown that Emmett had asked me about.
I fisted my hair in my hands and slumped over, succumbing to the mess of
tears that were looking for a release. "I can't do this without you, Bella," I
sobbed. "I can't raise these kids on my own, take care of our house on my own
… hell, I can't even sleep in the fucking bed on my own. My life isn't mine unless
you're a part of it. Please come back to me, baby. Please come back. I'm not me
without you here."
I let my hands fall to my sides as a torrent of tears poured from within me.
Every sad night, every confusing day, all the sadness and hurt and anger that I
felt, left my body through my eyes and flowed freely down my cheeks.
I was so caught up in my emotional meltdown that I didn't notice when Bella's
hand slid toward me. I felt it when her fingers squeezed mine though. My heart
stopped beating, my breath caught in my throat, and though I opened my
mouth to cry out loud, no sound came out.
I turned my head slowly, crumpling on top of her when I took in the sight.
Bella's eyes were open.
And they were focused on me.
Characters belong to SM and the beautiful music that inspired this piece belongs to Ryan Tedder and his band of musical geniuses. The rest is all from me.
Chapter 6
-2013-
"That's quite the story you're reading there." I looked up from the journal and
saw Angela leaning against the doorframe. She smiled as she entered the room,
perching herself on the chair next to mine.
"Well, we were quite the pair when we were younger," I said, bending the
corner of one page to keep my spot and closing the cover.
"You still are."
I chuckled. "Maybe. Twenty-five years has slowed us down a little. And brought
some wisdom with it."
"You're still crazy in love, though. That's all that matters." Angela crossed one
leg over the other and focused her attention on the monitors that surrounded
Bella's bed. "She'll be completely off of the pentobarbital by the end of the
night. There's a pretty good chance she can hear everything you're reading to
her right now."
I laid the book on the floor at my feet and grabbed Bella's hand in both of mine.
Some of the color had returned to her face, and I found myself wondering what
her eyes would look like after all this time. Would they still have the same
sparkle to them? Would they be darker, lighter, or the same chocolate shade of
brown? Would there be more lines around them, or would some of the stress be
gone from them? As I watched her chest rise and fall with assistance from the
ventilator, I couldn't help but wonder what, if any, differences there'd be when
my wife came back to me.
"I want to make it easier on her," I explained. "I've done so much research,
read so many articles on medically induced comas during the last month and a
half. Every patient comes out different, but confusion, disorientation, and
agitation seem to be common denominators among all cases. Perhaps I'm
foolish to think this way, but I hope that hearing our story—my name, the kids'
names, our parent's names—will take some of that confusion away. I don't want
her to be frightened, Angela. Seeing that will break my heart."
Dr. Weber reached out and squeezed my knee supportively. "Edward, we need
to talk about something. We can do it here, or we can do it in my office. It's up
to you, but I'm not sure it's something you would want Bella to hear."
I knew what was coming, but no matter how many times I'd tried to prepare
myself for this conversation, it did no good. My heartbeat sped up, my hands
started to tremble, and my mouth went dry. I squeezed Bella's hand once more
and stood, clearing the emotion from my throat. "Can we talk in the hallway?"
"Of course." Angela followed me out of the room, closing the door gently behind
her. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, completely unprepared for
what I was about to hear.
"Lay it on me, Ang. What is it?"
"This is never an easy conversation for a doctor to have, but it's even worse to
have it with you, Edward. Bella isn't just a colleague; she's a friend and a
confidant. I sincerely hope she opens her eyes, moves a muscle, or does
anything in the next few days. But as with any brain injury, there's always the
possibility that she won't.
"Bella was unconscious and unresponsive when the medics brought her in here,
Edward. She suffered a severe head trauma, as you know, and there was
already a fair amount of swelling by the time we brought her in for the first
scans and MRI. The electroencephalography shows brain activity, so please
don't interpret this as my telling you she's already gone, because I'm not. I just
want you to be ready to face the possibility that Bella might not wake up."
I couldn't look Angela in the eye. If I did, the calm façade I had so carefully
erected would tumble down around me, and I would be reduced to nothing more
than a blubbering mess on the floor. I had known all along that there was a
chance I'd lose Bella forever. Despite the outpouring of prayers, strength,
positive thoughts, and well wishes, she might not be strong enough to make it
through this and come out on the other side. The idea of living a life without her
was too painful to even consider, let alone accept.
"Will you have someone here with you the next few days?" Angela asked. I
continued to avoid her gaze, but nodded.
"Tanya was going to drive up. She might bring Riley and Kate with her."
"That's good." Angela stepped forward, laying her hand gently on my shoulder.
"I have hope, Edward; everyone in this hospital is rooting for Bella to pull
through. But if she doesn't … just know that there's plenty of us here to help get
you and the kids through."
"Thank you," I choked out. I composed myself and slipped back in my wife's
room. It was silly, but conscious or not I was convinced she could pick up on my
emotions, and I didn't want her to know the pain or stress that Angela's words
stirred up.
I took a seat beside her bed, picking up the journal once more and opening it to
the page I'd earmarked. One deep breath and a clearing of my throat later, I
was prepared to continue reading where I'd left off.
"Now, where were we? Ah, yes—California."
-Summer and fall, 1988-
When we first left Bruno, neither Bella nor I had any idea where we were
headed. I wanted to stop at home, grab my things and say goodbye to my
parents, but Bella was quick to point out that it would probably be the first place
Charlie went to look for us. So, after some discussion, we headed south to
Minneapolis, where a childhood friend of Bella's let us crash on her couch while
we made a plan.
After many talks and a few minor arguments, we decided to go west to
California. Bella's mom, Renee, lived in Long Beach with her new husband, and
was eager to offer us a place to stay while we got on our feet.
I had kept in contact with my parents who, though they didn't approve of what
Bella and I were doing, weren't angry enough to cut me off like Charlie had
done. That didn't mean they were happy with me, however, and when I told
Esme where we were headed, she said nothing and hung up.
We stayed with Maggie for a week, emptied the money from our savings
accounts, and then took off again, pointing my jeep in the direction of The
Golden State.
Our only extended stop along the way was in Las Vegas. We spent three days
there, and on the second we trekked to the Clark County courthouse, where we
applied for our marriage license. Twelve hours later we said, "I do," at which
time we promptly returned to our room to consummate our marriage. We took
cheesy photos in our wedding garb, which we would later send to our friends
back home, and finished the final leg of our journey.
Renee Dwyer was nothing like I pictured her. She was on the shorter side, like
Bella, with fiery red hair and eyes the color of the Pacific. She welcomed us to
her home with open arms, refusing to accept rent, grocery money, or anything
else. Her husband Phil managed professional sports players, so he spent a lot of
time on the road and not much back at home. After a while it became clear that
Renee was just happy to have other people in her home, and not so much by
the fact that one of those people was her daughter.
By the time the end of August rolled around, we'd settled in and become fairly
stable. Bella got a job working as a waitress at a local café and I had gotten
lured into selling insurance with one of Phil's business colleagues. We were
pocketing away money for school, and much to my surprise, it seemed like
things were going in the right direction.
Bella didn't get many weekends off, so when she told me she had a Saturday
night in September free I jumped at the chance to plan an evening out. I made
reservations at a fairly nice seafood place that sat on the beach and took my
wife on the town.
"What's the occasion?" Bella asked, taking in the spectacular view. The
restaurant's patio butted right up to the sand, and from where we were sitting
we could see the red and orange hues of yet another perfect sunset.
"There isn't one." I reached across the table and grabbed her hand, tracing the
lines on her palm with one of my fingers. She looked down at what I was doing,
the corners of her mouth turning up with a smile.
"No?"
I shook my head. "I just wanted to spend time with you. Our schedules are so
different now and your mom is always around. It feels like we never get a
chance to be alone anymore."
"I know." Bella curled her fingers back, trapping mine in her hand. "Maybe we
should look for our own place?"
The thought was tempting, but I also knew it wasn't feasible. "I'd love that, but
we have to save for school. That was one of the promises we made when we
decided to come here, remember? College was a must."
She tipped her head to the side, letting her eyes roam over me. "I know," she
sighed. "Some days it just seems like it might be easier if we did things
differently."
I wanted to tell her that I'd tried to point that out before we left Minnesota three
months earlier, but I knew that would start an argument, and I wasn't in the
mood for one.
"Let's not think about what's easy or hard right now. Let's enjoy this night
together, and be thankful we have the resources to do so." I reached across the
table and tucked my thumb beneath her chin, raising her head until her eyes
met mine. She cupped my wrist with her hand and smiled.
"Okay." We spent the rest of the night talking about everything; what we loved
and didn't love about California, how we missed our friends, and what we
wanted to do when we finally could afford our own place. Each time Bella smiled
I fell more and more in love with her, and by the time we got back to Renee's
place, I wanted nothing more than to strip her bare and show her.
"Is your mom home?" I asked, closing the bedroom door behind us and flipping
the lock up. Bella dropped her purse on the floor and shook her head.
"She's at some dinner party with Phil. They won't be back for a while."
We spent the rest of the night in bed, worshipping each other in ways that we
never had before. And, as my lips found purchase on her soft, sweaty skin, I
knew that there could never be anyplace else in the world that I'd rather be.
.
.
.
I was lounging on the couch after work one day, six weeks later, when I heard
Bella scream. I jumped to my feet immediately, racing to the basement
bedroom we shared.
I found her sitting on the edge of our bed, shoulders slumped and eyes fixed on
the floor. She didn't move when I inched across the room, or when I sat down
quietly beside her.
"Bells?" I reached out and tried to tuck her hair behind her ear, but she turned
her head away from me and sniffled. I wasn't sure what to do or if trying to
touch her anymore was a good idea, so I simply put my hands in my lap and
stared at the wall.
"What's wrong?"
She turned to face me then, and I could see her eye were red and puffy from
crying. "Everything."
"Everything? What do you mean?"
She held her hand out and dropped an object in my lap. I picked it up and spun
it around, and when I realized what it was a wave of fear swept over me.
"I'm pregnant."
Characters belong to SM and the beautiful music that inspired this piece belongs to Ryan Tedder and his band of musical geniuses. The rest is all from me.
Chapter 5
-2013-
Wednesday arrived quicker than I thought it would.
"Dad?" I rolled onto my back and rubbed my face. It took a minute for me to
realize that I was on the sofa.
"What are you doing down here?" When I opened my eyes I saw Riley staring
down at me. He looked rather amused by the situation.
"He fell asleep there last night, and I didn't want to disturb him." Tanya was
now peering down at me as well. "It's almost eight, by the way."
"Almost eight? Why did you let me sleep so long?" I sat up and swung my legs
over the edge of the couch. Tanya handed me a cup of coffee, for which I was
grateful.
"I figured you could use it. Besides, you look like you haven't had a good night's
sleep in months."
"Thanks," I muttered. I chugged down the coffee, ignoring the burning
sensation the hot liquid left behind as it traveled down my throat. I was in the
shower minutes later, and ready to get on the road by nine.
"Has anyone from St. Mary's called?" I asked. Tanya shook her head, handing
me more coffee sealed tightly in a Styrofoam cup.
"Drive safe, please? You don't need to set a record for the fastest time getting
there."
I kissed my daughter on the cheek and took off.
I was no more than ten miles from home when nostalgia got the best of me. I'd
spent the past two nights reading different parts of the journal to Tanya, which
had led to my dreaming about the days when Bella and I were teenagers. Back
then we were so caught up in the way we felt that we failed to see the big
picture overall. Sometimes I wondered how we were still together, especially
since the cards had been stacked against us for the later part of our senior year.
I couldn't help but chuckle when I thought about how determined Charlie was to
keep us apart. It wasn't funny back then, but in the grand scheme of things, it
sure seemed so now.
There were no neurological teams waiting for me in Bella's room that day. The
nurses made their rounds as usual, but other than that it was a relatively quiet
and uneventful afternoon, something for which I was grateful.
I stared at the journal, which I'd brought with me once again. I never thought
about reading it to Bella, but now as we sat there alone while the drugs worked
their way out of her system, I thought it probably couldn't hurt. There was no
evidence to prove whether or not comatose individuals could hear things going
on around them. I knew that the next 24 to 48 hours would be crucial, because
it was during that time that Bella would likely wake up, if she was going to. The
thought of her not knowing where she was or what had happened was bad
enough, but idea that she might not know who she was either was enough to kill
me. I flipped through the journal, landing at the spot where I'd left off with
Rosalie. Perhaps my words would act as a guiding light, helping her fine her way
back to us.
It couldn't hurt to try.
I leaned forward in the chair until my elbows were resting on the tops of my knees. I looked up at my wife and then back down at my own familiar scrawl, beginning to read.
-June 1988-
As far as Charlie knew, Bella and I weren't together. And we weren't—not
publicly at least. Behind closed doors and in the presence of our friends, we
were back in full force, hotter, heavier, and even more in love than we were
before.
Graduation was a big deal in our small town, and an even bigger one for Bella
and I. Two days after the ceremony she would turn eighteen, which meant that
Charlie could no longer forbid her from letting me be a part of her life.
"I can't wait until we don't have to hide anymore," I murmured, kissing my way
across her collarbone. Bella shivered and tangled her fingers in my hair.
"I know. Just one more week." She looked over at the clock next to my bed and
sighed. "I need to get home. Charlie will be back from Sandstone in a half
hour."
"Mmmm, stay here with me." I tugged her tank top down and captured her
nipple in my mouth, eliciting a gasp from her.
"I want to, but…" I cupped her other breast in my hand, rolling her nipple
between my thumb and forefinger. She tugged at my hair and sighed. "I have to
go."
I gave each breast a chaste kiss before rolling over. She righted her clothing
and sat up.
"One more week," she repeated, leaning down to kiss me. I reached up and
tickled her sides, sending her into a fit of laughter.
"Tell Charlie hi for me," I joked, slapping her ass when she stood up. She looked
over her shoulder and rolled her eyes.
"I'll see you tomorrow, stud muffin."
"Love you!" I yelled.
"Love you too!"
I was still lying there, staring up at the ceiling, when my mom knocked on the
bedroom door. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," I said, pulling myself up into a sitting position. She crossed the room
and took a seat on the edge of my bed.
"You know, your father and I don't like hiding things for you," she began. When
I started to roll my eyes, she held a single finger up to stop me. "But, we've
been doing it because we love you and we love Bella. And even though we're
still not happy about the part you played in what happened to The Bear's Den
this spring, we've never felt his no-contact stipulation was fair."
"I appreciate that," I said, focusing my eyes everywhere but on my mom's face.
I hated it when she got emotional, and that seemed to be the route the
conversation was taking.
"That being said, you both graduate in a week, and I would hope that once your
ceremony is over and you're free from the confines of high school, you'll be able
to have that conversation with Charlie."
I slung my legs over the side of the bed and stood, stretching my arms high
above my head. "Bella's birthday is two days after graduation, Ma. We can tell
Charlie after that."
Esme seemed satisfied with this plan. "Good." She stood as well, motioning at
the door. "Your father should be home any minute and dinner's ready. Why
don't you wash up and help me set the table?"
"Sure. I'll be down in a minute." Once I knew she was downstairs, I opened my
sock drawer and dug my hand around. I pulled out the velvet box I'd hidden in
there, opening the lid and inspecting the ring that was seated inside. The
diamond solitaire wasn't huge, but it was what I could afford, and I knew at the
end of the day that Bella wouldn't want something big and flashy. Despite my
initial impressions of her, she was a relatively simple kind of girl, and as long as
I presented the token of my love when I asked the big question, I knew she'd
be happy.
Jasper's words about the proposal pool played over in my mind, and I couldn't
help but laugh. Back then I had no intention of asking Bella to marry me so
soon, but the past few months had changed a lot of things, and I'd come to the
realization that Bella was truly it for me. I wanted her and only her, and so
asking her to commit to the next leg of our journey together didn't seem like
such a bad idea to me.
I tucked the ring back where I was keeping it hidden and made my way
downstairs.
Graduation would formally mark the end of our high school days.
And, if all went as planned, it would also become the night that Bella Swan
agreed to spend the rest of her life with me.
.
.
.
Our commencement was relatively short, given that our class consisted of a
whopping 89 kids. The school provided coffee, cake and juice in the gym
following the ceremony, but when everyone parted ways and then sun went
down, the real fun began.
"Cheers to end of high school!" Emmett held a can of beer up and grinned. The
rest of us held our drinks up too, toasting to the idea of no more homework or
catty cliques. We were at Eric Yorkie's house, where a post-graduation kegger
was in full swing. I was careful not to drink too much, as I planned on popping
the question later when Bella and I had a moment or two alone.
"I can't believe we did it," Alice squealed, wrapping Bella and Rose up in an
awkward, drunken hug.
"I know! Where did the last year go?" Bella looked over the top of Alice's head
and smiled at me. "No more homework or football games or cheesy dances."
My eyebrows shot up. "Cheesy dances? You made me go to every one of them!"
"Only cause I wanted an excuse to spend time with you." Bella winked and I felt
my jaw drop.
"Oh c'mon, you had fun at those dances and you know it!" Alice said, slapping
my arm and giggling. Alice on a sober day was sometimes hard to handle, but
once she had a few drinks in her I usually wanted to strangle her.
We left Yorkie's house and made a stop at the Stanley's place. Enough of our
classmates were throwing parties that we could have continued to hop like that
until dawn, but after our third stop at the Denali farm, I pulled Bella aside and
asked if she wanted to go.
"I thought you'd never ask," she said, eyes twinkling and skin flushed with
excitement. We said goodbye to our friends and found my jeep. The ring was all
but burning a hole in my pocket, and even though I had what I considered a
grandiose proposal in the meadow planned out, I only made it as far as the field
behind Bella's house before the anticipation got the best of me.
I pulled off the dirt road and parked in the tall grass. The sky above us was
clear, and just like we had the night we first said, "I love you", we climbed into
the back seat and tossed a blanket over our laps.
"Couldn't handle the overwhelming crowds anymore, huh?" Bella teased. I
chuckled.
"If these crowds are overwhelming, I have no idea how we're going to navigate
UMD in three months."
"We might have to take up day drinking," Bella joked, snuggling into my side
and looking up at the sky. "I know I've said it at least a dozen times, but the
stars will forever me my favorite part of coming here from the cities."
I shifted so that I was facing her. I saw a myriad of emotions swimming in the
deep brown pools that were her eyes, but the most prominent one staring back
at me was love.
"Bella..." my words melted away as I tried to remember everything I'd spent the
past two days rehearsing. When I drew a blank, I said a silent prayer and
improvised, my voice thick with emotion. "I know we're young and we haven't
had a chance to see the world in its entirety, but if I were to die tomorrow I
could do so happily, simply because I've had the chance to spend the last year
with you."
She sat up straighter, focused intently on my words. The look of adoration on
her face was enough to keep me going. "When I think of my future, you're in it.
When I think about what college will be like, I'm comforted by the simple fact
that you'll be by my side through the experience. When I wonder what kind of
home I'll have or car I'll drive or life I'll live … it's not a terrifying thing to do,
because you're a part of every piece in this puzzle. Simply put, you're my life.
And you have been for months." I slipped the box out of my pocket and held it
up where she could see it. Her eyes grew wide, her face lit up, and she brought
both hands up to cover her mouth.
"Promise me you'll always be a part of my life, Bella," I continued, opening the
box and taking the ring out. "Promise me you'll be Mrs. Edward Cullen
someday."
She said nothing as tears began to fall from her eyes. Her silence was just
starting to worry me when she flung her arms around me and pulled me close to
her.
"I promise," she whispered in my ear. I could feel her smile against my skin,
and when she pulled back and looked at me again, I was certain I had tears in
my own eyes as well. I grabbed her left hand in mine and slid the ring on her
fourth finger, where it fit perfectly.
"I love you," I said, cupping her face with my hands and placing a chaste kiss on
each of her eyelids. Bella slid her hands up over my chest and shoulders, linking
her fingers behind my neck and hugging me tightly.
"I love you too."
.
.
.
Two days later, I found myself on the road that led to Bella's farmhouse. It was
the first time since the fire that I'd been there, and though I promised myself I'd
stay calm for what we were about to do, I couldn't stop the tidal wave of anxiety
that washed over me the minute I hit her driveway.
I slowed the jeep to a crawl and took a deep breath. Bella was eighteen as of
that morning, and there wasn't a damn thing Charlie could do about our
relationship anymore. The thought alone was enough to provide some comfort,
but as the trees broke and the house came into view, I wondered if we would be
better off waiting a while before we announced anything.
I parked and cut the engine, taking five deep breaths to calm my nerves. I was
about to climb out when Charlie's angry voice flooded out of the open windows.
"Nothing's changed, Bella. I don't like that boy and I don't want you hanging
around him!"
"I'm an adult now, Charlie." My jaw dropped when I heard Bella say those
words. She never called her dad by his name. "It doesn't matter what you want.
I can make my own decisions, and I want to be with Edward. I love him and
that's all there is to it."
"Love?" Charlie laughed. "You're a kid, Bells. You don't even know what love is!
And you might be eighteen, but that doesn't mean you can run around this town
doing whatever the hell you please. As long as you're living under my roof,
you'll abide by my rules, and I will not tolerate you seeing that boy!"
I heard glass break and a door slam. It was quiet for all a two minutes before
Bella whipped the front door open and blazed through it. She had a suitcase in
one hand and her purse in the other, and Charlie was right on her heels.
"Where do you think you're going?" he shouted, but Bella didn't pay him any
mind. She ran to where I was parked and threw her things in the back of the
jeep. When she turned to face her dad she pulled her ring out of the pocket of
her jeans and slid it on her finger, holding her hand up in the air for Charlie to
see.
"We're engaged, Charlie! We're gonna get married and there's not a damn thing
you can do to stop us!" I tried to say something, but Bella shushed me and
continued. "You say as long as I'm under your roof I have to follow your rules?
Well then, I'm not living under your roof anymore! You're not going to stop me
from being with the person I love, Charlie."
"Isabella Marie," he boomed, starting down the steps and across the yard. "If
you get in that jeep and drive away, you don't get to come back! I won't
tolerate this kind of disrespect form anyone, least of all my own daughter!"
Bella stared at him for a mere second before climbing up in the jeep and
slapping her hand against the dashboard. "Drive, Edward."
"But-"
"Drive!" She commanded. I fired up the engine and threw her in gear, peeling
out of Charlie's driveway and leaving him behind in a cloud of dust.
"Where are we going?"
Tears were coursing down her cheeks now, and when I reached out to wipe my
thumb across her face she pushed my hand away.
"I have no idea. Just drive, Edward. Just drive."
Neither of us knew what we were doing or where we were going. So, we did
what any pair of emotionally charged, in love eighteen year olds would do.
We eloped.
