Again: Chapter 12

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Chapter 12

Chicago, November 2013

"Blue or black?" I hold the two dresses up and Alice looks back and forth
between them.

"Blue," she finally says, grabbing the black dress and tossing it up on the bed
behind her.

"Black or silver?" I hold up two pairs of heels this time. Alice points to the silver
strappy ones and I chuck the other pair in the direction of my closet.

"Rose gold or—"

Alice holds up a hand. "Use your Michael Kors clutch. It goes really well with this
dress. Wear your lacy, cropped cardigan, because you never know what the
temperature at the restaurant will be like, and make sure you ditch the bra. You
won't need it because the way the dress is cut will help with that."

I fling my arms around my favorite pixie and pull her tight against me. "Thank
you, Ali. You're like a Jedi master when it comes to this kind of stuff."

She waves my compliment off and stands. "I just have a slightly unhealthy
obsession with dressing everyone else. Now, put those clothes on and get
ready, because we're going to beautify you."

Alice spends the next hour making sure my makeup and hair are perfect. I feel
runway ready by the time she's done, which is precisely why I invited her over
to help me prepare for my date with Edward.

Well, that's not the only reason. Rose, being her loving, protective, pregnant-
and-sassy self, can't quite see why we're going out in the first place. "If it ain't
broke, don't fix it." Those were her exact words the night before when the topic
came up. I tried telling her that it's just one date, very simple, no pressure, but
she didn't believe me.

So, when it came time to choose a friend to help me get ready, Alice was the
winner. I expect Rose will call later tonight, seeking details even though she
won't directly ask for them.

What I don't expect is that she'd show up at my door ten minutes before
Edward is supposed to be here.

"What are you doing here?"

"You could try not to look so shocked, you know." Rose brushes past me and
shrugs her coat off, dumping it on a kitchen chair. She spins around and takes
in my appearance. "Alice did a nice job."

"Of course I did," Alice says from the end of the hall. "Did you expect anything
less than extraordinary?"

I watch the exchange with amusement. "Seriously, Ro, to what do I owe this
unexpected visit?"

"I wanted to give you these." Rose pulls a pair of hot pink socks out of her bag
and hands them to me. I turn the socks over, noticing they have bananas
embroidered all over them.

"Um, well, these are … what the hell are these?"

"My lucky socks," she explains, folding her arms over her chest. "I had these on
the night I met Emmett. Wore them for every date after and look at how
amazing our relationship has been!"

I scrunch my nose up and hold the socks out a safe distance from myself. Rose
rolls her eyes and slaps my hand. "They're clean, asshat. It's not like I don't do
my damn laundry."

"Why are you giving me these?" I ask. "You don't even want me to go on the
date."

Rose heads to my living room and perches herself on the edge of the loveseat.
"I'm not a complete asshole. When push comes to shove, I just want to see you
happy. And if I'm being honest, it's been a long time since I've seen your face
light up the way it has these past few months."

I want to say something, but Rose continues. "We all make mistakes, some
bigger than others. Edward, well … he made lots of mistakes. And he spent the
last ten years paying for them. So, if you can forgive him, accept him for who
he is, flaws and all, well, then I can do that, too."

My eyes well up with tears and Alice immediately goes into makeup rescue
mode. She busies herself with fixing my eyeliner while Rose reaches out and
grabs my hand. "I don't do sappy, so I'm going to make this short and sweet: if
the man breaks your heart again, I'll bust his balls into a thousand pieces and
feed them to him for breakfast."

I laugh and push Alice away so I can give Rose a proper hug. "I love you, Ro."

"I love you, too, Bell." A knock on the door interrupts our moment and sends
my heart into my throat. My friends spring into action, getting my cardigan,
checking to make sure I have my keys, and loading my clutch with a compact, a
tube of lipstick, and the lucky fruit socks. I kiss them both on the cheek, take a
deep, cleansing breath, and pull the door open.

Edward stands before me, looking sinful in a pair of dark wash jeans and a
forest green dress shirt. He has a black wool coat on and his hair is styled in
such a way that he looks like a modern James Dean. My eyes rake over him at
the same time his do me, and we both blurt out a greeting.

"You look beautiful."

"That's quite the ensemble there, James." He furrows his brows, but only for a
minute, because we both start laughing.

"Let's try this again." Edward reaches his hand out and takes mine, lifting it to
his lips and placing a gentle kiss on the top of my fingers. "You look absolutely
stunning, Bella."

The head rush is immediate. My palms sweat, my knees start to shake, and for
a tiny second I feel like I'm going to pass out. It's just Edward, I remind myself.
The thought provides no consolation, however. I'm not sure how he feels, but
this night is important to me. Yes, it may just be a date, but it's with the man
I've loved for over ten years. Not everyone gets a second chance at something
like this, and the significance of that alone is enough to make me want to hurl
my guts up onto the floor.

"You look like James Dean," I blurt out. Edward tips his head back and laughs.

"Still as graceful as ever with your words." He holds his hand out and I look up
into his eyes. I'm not sure what I expect to see, but what I find are two blazing
green pools filled with excitement, apprehension, and hope.

I slip my hand into his and give a gentle squeeze. "Bye girls," Edward calls over
my shoulder.

"Seriously?" I scoff. "How did you know they were here?"

Edward tugs me forward, down the stairs and to his waiting car. "I might be a
bit rusty at this, but I'm not totally clueless. I've had a few things figured out for
years." He winks and opens the door for me, closing it tight after I'm seated.

"What kind of things?" I ask, teasingly.

"The dating rituals of you and Rose."

I think about the pair of hot pink banana socks currently sitting in my clutch and
giggle. "You might think you have them figured out, but trust me, you have no
idea."

Edward side eyes me as he puts the car in gear. "Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not."

We head north on Lake Shore Drive until we reach Lincoln Park. Edward
navigates the streets easily, and I can tell he's familiar with wherever it is that
we're headed. We come to a stop in front of a strip of eclectic looking stores
with a row of walk up apartments above them. There's a coffee shop, a vintage
record store, and an empty space with a "For Lease" sign in the window. Edward
gets out and opens my door once more, helping me onto the curb.

"Am I overdressed?" I suddenly feel out of place. I'm not sure why, but I had
expected our destination to be a bit more on the classy side.

"Not at all." He tugs a set of keys out of his pocket and leads me toward the
empty shop.

"Where are we?" I ask, following him inside. He flips a light on and I'm greeted
by a large, open space.

Edward watches me carefully as he answers. "My gallery."

"Your gallery?" I can practically feel my jaw drop. I spin around as best I can in
my heels, already imagining what the walls with look like when they're
decorated with pieces of art. "You're opening a gallery? I had no idea you were
interested in this kind of thing."

"Well, it's actually a gallery for my work." Edward's cheeks and ears flush
crimson. "Please don't take that to be as narcissistic as it sounds. My agent
suggested I make the investment. The place was available for a decent price,
and it'll be a good way to ensure exposure for my work."

"Wow, I'm … Edward, this is incredible." I walk around the room, running my
fingers over the freshly painted off-white walls. I can see the place even more
clearly now, knowing it's his art that will hang here. The post-apocalyptic spoon
and cherry will go well by the door. His watercolor of The Bean, which was since
been made into a limited set of prints, would look great along the back wall. I
put my mind to work, placing each of his paintings somewhere in the space. I
get so absorbed that I almost forget we're here on a date.

"This isn't all." The feel of Edward's hand on the small of my back ignites an
electric current that hums just beneath my skin. He guides me toward the back
corner and into the office.

A small, wrought iron table sits in the middle of the room. There are place
settings for two and a vase that overflows with pink roses sitting atop the table.
Edward deposits a paper bag, which I never noticed him carrying, next to the
table and looks at me shyly.

"I know we're starting over," he says, "but thirteen years ago we had the most
perfect first date at a teeny tiny art gallery in Minneapolis. I would never go
back to that time, because it would mean having to hurt you all over again, but
I wanted to bring a little bit of that night here for us."

I place my hand on his chest and smile up at him. "I love this. It's amazing.
Thank you for sharing this with me."

"I can't think of anyone I'd rather share this with." He takes the bag he was
carrying and tugs a variety of food from it. We sit down and dish up, digging
into some amazing looking salads. The conversation ebbs and flows naturally
and we talk about everything. When we've finished eating, Edward places a
wrapped gift on the table and pushes it towards me.

"What's this?" I ask, grabbing it.

"Open it," he says. I tug off the ribbon and shed the paper to find a glass jar
filled with scraps of paper and what look like Hershey Kisses. I spin the object
around in my hands until I see the cardstock adhered to the front of it.

"Why I fell in love with you," I read aloud, my tears choking up the final few
words. I unhook the jar lid and flip it back. Reaching inside, grab the first sheet
of paper I can. I unfold it and read the message jotted in Edward's familiar
scrawl. "The way your eyes start to dance any time you talk about something
you love."

"That was one of the first things I noticed about you when we start dating,"
Edward's voice sounds far off, thanks to the loud thump-thump-thump of my
heart. I reach in the jar again, pulling out another message.

"Your compassion."

Edward smiles and looks down at his hands. "You have one of the biggest hearts
of anyone I know. And you're always willing to open it. Seriously, Bella, I hope
you realize how much of an inspiration you are."

I do nothing to stop the tears from trickling down my cheek. My hand shakes as
I reach in the jar one more time, pulling out a sheet with one single word on it.

"Forgiveness."

"It takes a special person to forgive those who have done them wrong. I
probably don't deserve as much understanding as you've shown me, and I
especially don't deserve to be sitting here with you right now, but your ability to
forgive is why I am." He reaches across the table and takes both of my hands in
his. "I want you to read all of these when I drop you off. I want you to know the
ins and outs of the love I feel for you. And I want you to know that even after
you left, I never stopped loving you."

Edward stands and pulls me to my feet. He cradles my face between his hands
and springtime eyes meet cherry cola ones. I feel like I've been stripped bare,
like he can see beneath every layer and into my soul.

"I really want to kiss you right now," he whispers. My breath catches in my
throat and time seems to stand still. "Can I kiss you Bella? Please?"

I barely have a chance to nod and his lips are on mine, warm and soft,
demanding yet gentle. His mouth moves against mine and his tongue slides
along my lips, seeking access to parts of me I've kept locked away for a decade.
I grab his hair and melt into him, feeling a rush of exhilaration mixed with the
familiarity of coming home. I breathe him in and exhale out the past. And bit-
by-bit, piece-by-piece, the last few bricks of the wall I'd erected so many years
ago fall away, and all that's left is my heart. It's been bruised before, even
broken, but I know it's in good hands this time around.

.

.

.

Hours later we arrive back at my apartment. Edward holds my hand the whole way up the stairs, refusing to let go until we're standing face-to-face, nose-to-nose in front of my door.

"Tonight was amazing, Bella. I can't thank you enough for letting me see you."

"You don't need to thank me, Cullen. I had a wonderful time, too." I stand on
my toes and kiss him chastely on the cheek. He pulls me to him, wrapping his
arms around my waist and resting his chin against the top of my head.

"Can I see you again?"

I pull back and look up at him, fully aware that there's a 100-watt smile dancing
on my face.

"Absolutely."