Characters belong to SM and the beautiful music that inspired this piece belongs to Ryan Tedder and his band of musical geniuses. The rest is all from me.
Chapter 3
-2013-
"Has Angela given you any indication of what she thinks will happen when the
meds are completely gone?" Emmett sat across from me in the hospital
cafeteria. He had a mountain of food piled up on his tray, and for what must
have been the hundredth time over the course of our friendship, I wondered
how he didn't have cholesterol that was through the roof.
"Not exactly." I took a bite of my burger, chewing it completely before replying.
"They can't really predict how anyone will … behave when coming out of
something like this. There are so many variables that play a role in the recovery
process, and each case is different."
"Listen to you, Cullen. You sound like a doctor yourself."
"Nah, I've just become especially well-versed in all of this. I owe it to Google."
Emmett chuckled, his expressing growing serious.
"How are you holding up? You tell me you're fine, and I take it at face value, but
… are you really okay? If it were Rosie lying in that bed upstairs, I'd be a fucking
mess."
"I have to be okay," I answered honestly. "The kids count on me to be the rock
in times like this. Even if I wanted to fall the fuck apart—and god knows there
have been plenty of times when I did—I can't do that to them."
"Well, you're amazing my friend." Emmett took a sip of his coffee and leaned
back in the chair.
"How is Rose?"
"Good. They just assigned her to a new classroom for the spring, so she's a bit
nervous, but she's been doing this for so long that I'm sure it'll be fine." Rose
had been working as a teacher at the high school in Sandstone for the past
fifteen years. She loved the kids and loved her job but hated change, much like
the rest of us.
"And you? Do you have any new pieces of architectural brilliance in the works?"
Emmett had made a name for himself in the architectural field, eventually
opening his own firm there in Duluth.
"I don't know if I would call a cabin in the woods architectural brilliance, but
that's my latest project." He drained his coffee and tapped his fingers on the
tabletop. "Two stories, three bedrooms, lots of acreage. and a custom built hot
tub enclosure. Plus it's on lakeshore property. It makes me wonder who these
people are and where their money comes from."
I laughed, appreciating the sheer normalcy of our conversation. My life had
been anything but for the past month and a half, and seeing that it still could be
the way it was before gave me some comfort.
Emmett glanced at his watch and gave me an apologetic look. "I probably
should get going," he said, placing his garbage on the tray in front of him. "I
have a two thirty meeting with one of the city inspectors. If he decides to brave
this weather, that is."
I followed suit, collecting my trash and taking my tray to the dishwashing area.
"Thanks for meeting me," I said when we reached the hospital entrance.
"Of course. Same time tomorrow?"
"Same time, same place." I reached my hand out intending to shake his, but
Emmett grabbed it and pulled me to him, engulfing me in one of his always-
famous bear hugs.
"If you need anything—anything at all—call me. Day or night, snow or shine. I'm
here for you, Edward."
"Thanks, Em. I appreciate that."
When I got to Bella's room, three nurses were working together to give her a
bed bath. I'd seen my wife naked plenty of times, but whenever I stayed in the
room I felt like I was violating her privacy. So I grabbed my journal and trekked
down to the family waiting room.
The chairs weren't nearly as comfortable as the ones in Bella's room, but the waiting room on that floor had the best coffee. So, I made myself a cup and settled in, continuing my trip down memory lane.
-March 1988-
After Bella and I said, "I love you" once, we were saying it all the time. Some
couples tossed the term around casually, but for us it wasn't like that. I felt
Bella's love in everything she did. It was there in the smile that lit her face when
she saw me. It was there in her fingers that held my hand while we walked the
halls at school. It was there in her words as she told Charlie about our plans to
go to UMD together after graduation. It was ever-present and intense; more
intense than anything I'd experienced up until that point.
Our relationship grew stronger as the months passed. We'd had small spats
along the way, but nothing major, and when our friends or my family asked me
questions about the future, I could honestly say I knew Bella would play an
integral role in it.
Little did I know one spring night would change everything.
It was a Friday and I was out with Emmett and my other friends. Bella and
Charlie were in the Twin Cities visiting her grandparents for the weekend, and
even though I missed the hell out of her, I knew a weekend away wouldn't kill
either of us.
"Who's running The Bear's Den if Charlie is in Minneapolis?" Emmett asked. The
night was young and we were perched on the gate of his truck, trying to decide
how to spend the remainder of it.
"Billy Black. He's Charlie's right hand man," I explained.
"Huh. You think he'd give us a bottle of Jack?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows
mischievously and I rolled my eyes.
"He knows we're all underage, ass."
"He's also a pervy old dude who would probably be easily persuaded by a good-
looking girl half his age." Emmett looked over at Rose, who immediately shook
her head.
"Don't you dare ask me to go in the bar and hit on him. I love you Em, but not
enough to do that," she said. Emmett sighed.
"I bet Garrett would get us a bottle," Jasper pointed out. Garrett was his older
brother, and he usually didn't have a problem helping us find a way to party.
Emmett liked this idea, and an hour later we were hooked up with our
favorites—whiskey and rum.
We drove to the outskirts of town and parked Emmett's truck, unloading a
collection of lawn chairs and rounding up some firewood. Pretty soon we had a
fire blazing and the liquor flowing.
"So, you and Bella are getting pretty serious, huh?" Jasper asked, dropping
down in the open chair next to me. I smiled like a loon at the mention of my
girlfriend.
"Totally."
"What happens after graduation? Wedding bells and babies and all that shit?"
I laughed. "I don't know how quick that'll happen, but we'll head off to college
together for sure."
"Can I let you in on a secret?" Jasper asked. I nodded, and he leaned close
enough so only I could hear him. "We've got a pool going."
"Who has a pool going?"
"Us," he said, gesturing to the rest of our friends. "We took bets on when you'll
pop the question. I said after graduation, so please do me a favor and wait until
then, okay? That's $100 bucks in my pocket if you do."
I opened my mouth to speak, but instead burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" Emmett asked, barreling over to where we were and
clapping a massive hand down on each of our shoulders.
"Jasper was just telling me how he thinks Mrs. Banner has a bodacious body," I
sputtered. Jasper turned to glare at me and I shrugged innocently.
Emmett shook with laughter. "Dude, that's so wrong! Banner's old lady is
anything but bodacious!"
We carried on like that, enjoying the booze and each other's company for hours.
It was after three in the morning when Emmett brought us back to The Bear's
Den, where we'd all met up when the night began.
We were about to part ways when Emmett found a package of bottle rockets
stuffed behind his seat.
"No fucking way!" he shouted, jumping out of the truck and retrieving the
empty Jack Daniels bottle from the bed. "I think I just found us a nightcap!"
"You should probably do that when you're sober," Jasper cautioned. Emmett
wasn't listening though. He was busy tearing the wrapping off and stuffing five
rockets in the neck of the Jack bottle.
"Dude, you can't light all those at once!" I stepped forward to try and take them
away, but Emmett stuck his arm out and stopped me.
"Relax, Cullen." He twisted the rockets around so that the fuses were all on one
side of the bottle and then pulled a lighter out of his pocket.
"Emmett, no!" Rose yelled, but it was too late. We watched in horror as he lit all
five rockets and jumped back. They exploded and whizzed in the air with a loud
whistle, barely clearing the roof of the bar before falling from the sky and
landing on top of the wooden structure.
"Holy shit!" Emmett kicked the bottle over and made a beeline for his truck.
"What the fuck are you doing, man?" I shouted. Emmett said nothing as he
jumped in the cab and started the engine. Jasper, Alice, and Rose were in the
bed in an instant, leaving me standing alone outside of the bar.
"Edward! Get in the truck!" Emmett bellowed. I looked behind me where plumes
of thick, white smoke were already beginning to billow up into the night sky.
"We need to call the fire department," I said, but my words were met with
protest from everyone.
"We can't do that, Edward. We'll all get arrested! My dad will kill me!" Alice
looked at me with pleading eyes.
"But Charlie-"
Emmett cut me off. "Get in the truck, Edward!"
I stood there for another minute, stuck between a proverbial rock and a hard
place. I knew that the right thing to do would be to call the fire department.
Even if it meant taking the fall for Emmett's actions, at least that might give
them the chance of salvaging the bar.
I was terrified of Bella's reaction, however, and that fear was what drove me to
run across the parking lot and jump in the back of the truck myself.
.
.
.
The next morning, The Bear's Den was nothing more than a pile of burnt wood
and ashes.
Bella called me as soon as she got back to town.
"Did you hear about the bar?" The panic in her voice made me feel guiltier than
I already did.
"Yeah," I said.
"Who would have done such a thing?" Her voice trembled, and when I closed
my eyes all I could picture was her face with tears coursing down it.
"It was us." I spit the words out quickly.
"What?" When I didn't answer, she yelled into the phone. "WHAT?"
"It was us," I repeated, slower and louder. The other end of the line was silent,
and I thought she might have hung up.
"I don't believe that," she finally whispered.
"We were drinking and Emmett had some bottle rockets and … it was an
accident, Bella. I swear, we didn't mean to."
She choked out a sob and I could feel my heart breaking. "How could you do
this?"
"I don't know. Bella … I'm sorry." It was completely lame, but it was all I had to
offer.
She hung up then, and I wasn't surprised when Charlie Swan showed up on my
parents' doorstep a half hour later.
What followed was one of the worst experiences of my teenage years. My dad,
Carlisle, ushered me downstairs, where I was forced to relay the entire story to
Charlie. By the time I finished he was seething.
"How could you be so careless, Edward?" My mom, Esme, had asked. I looked
down at my lap as shame bubbled up in my chest.
"I tried to stop him-"
"You shouldn't have even been there!" Charlie shouted. The tone and volume of
his voice made me wince. "You're seventeen, son. You have no business being
out at three in the morning, and especially not drinking."
I swallowed hard. "I know, sir."
"I hope you're happy with yourself." Charlie stood and ran a hand through his
hair. "This doesn't just hurt me, Edward; it hurts Bella too."
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Charlie shook his head in disgust
and headed for the door.
"Stay away from my daughter," he called over his shoulder.
"You don't mean that, Charlie," Esme said. When he turned to face me once
more, I knew that he did.
"I mean every last word. I don't want you going near her." He narrowed his
eyes and stared me down for a beat before leaving the house.
"Dad, I-"
"Go upstairs, Edward. I have nothing to say to you right now." Carlisle tipped
his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose. I looked at my mom, hoping
she would back me up, but she didn't look any more thrilled than he did.
As I trudged upstairs, I wished I could take back Friday night in its entirety. I
wished that I had never decided to go out, had never drank too many shots,
and had never been in the parking lot of the bar when Emmett found the bottle
rockets.
I wished that I would have stayed behind and called the sheriff, because the
wrath of the law would have been a hell of a lot less painful to deal with than
the wrath of Charlie Sawn and now the loss of Bella.
God only knew, a world without Bella was a world too painful to live in.
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