Characters belong to SM and the beautiful music that inspired this piece belongs to Ryan Tedder and his band of musical geniuses. The rest is all from me.
Chapter 4
-2013-
I caught up with Angela one more time that afternoon. After she assured me
that she would call if there were any new developments, I gathered up my
things, said goodbye to Bella, and made the 45-minute trip home.
Kate was all smiles and excitement when I came through the door.
"Dad!" My youngest jumped up from the couch, racing across the room and
throwing her arms around me. I picked her up and twirled her around.
"You're going to throw your back out one day when you do that," Tanya scolded.
Kate rolled her eyes at her sister and let out a loud, exasperated sigh.
"You're so dramatic, Tan."
"She's just looking out for me," I said, earning me an eye roll. Tanya shook her
head, but I could tell she was fighting back a smile.
"We made cheeseburger soup for dinner, cause it's your favorite," Kate said,
ignoring my defense of her sister. I kicked off my shoes and rubbed my stomach
enthusiastically.
"I'm sure it's delicious too! Can I talk to you sister for a few minutes before we
eat?" Kate rocked bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet.
"Sure! I'm going to go tell Riley you're here! He's out back getting wood for the
fire." She took off then, and I found myself envious of the amount of energy she
had. Oh, to be 14 again.
Once Kate was out of earshot, Tanya and I sat down on the sofa. "How is she?"
"They're weaning her off of the drugs," I explained. Tanya's eyes widened.
"They don't do that unless they're sure she's going to recover, do they?"
I wanted to offer my oldest all the hope in the world, but I knew I needed to be
honest with her. At 24, Tanya would soon be a mother herself, and Bella and I
always strived to set a good example. "Doctors are never certain about the
future of comatose patients, Tan. She's at a point physically where it's safe for
them to bring her out of the drug-induced coma she's been in. But, nobody
knows what will happen when she wakes up."
"If she wakes up." Tanya cast her eyes to the floor and wiped her fingers across
one cheek. I ran my hand over her hair and pulled her to me.
"We have to stay strong, sweetheart. Your mom needs us to keep our chins up
now more than ever before."
I could sense Tanya's meltdown coming before she started to tremble in my
arms. "What if we've been strong all this time and it ends up doing nothing?"
she sobbed. "What if Mom doesn't wake up? Or what if she does, but she isn't
Mom anymore? This is all so scary, Dad. The idea that she might never home
again is even scarier than the thought of her going into a coma in the first
place."
I rocked my daughter back and forth, trying to provide her with the same
comfort I always had when she was just a little girl. "I know it's scary, Tan. But
we have to remember that we don't have the answers. Nobody does in this
case. All we can do is keep hoping for the best and giving what strength we can
spare to your mom."
Once she calmed down a bit Tanya pulled away from me. "Kate insisted on
making the soup for you. She's been a bit out of sorts with you both away."
"I'm sorry I've been gone like this," I apologized. "You have no idea how much I
appreciate the fact that you came to stay with them. I know you and James
have a lot going on with the new house and preparing for the baby."
"When all is said and done, the new house will be there. You guys are my heart.
James gets it."
We talked for a bit more and I asked Tanya if she'd bring her siblings up to the
hospital on Thursday. She agreed, though I could see the hesitation in her eyes.
If there was even a remote chance that Bella would wake, I wanted all of us
there together when it happened.
We sat down for dinner and the kids told me everything about the previous
week. By the time we were done, I knew all about Riley's success with the
football team, Kate's new crush, and who was asking whom to the winter
formal. Once the dishes were washed and homework was finished, I took the
trash out, stopping to look up at the night sky. Every star imaginable was lit up
overhead, reminding me of my wife's main reason for loving the North Country
like she did.
Kate and Riley headed to bed an hour later, and I roamed through the house,
searching for my oldest daughter. I found her curled up on the couch with her
nose buried in none other than my journal.
"Where did you find that?" I asked, sitting down next to her.
"It was under your coat." Tanya put the journal down and looked up at me with
tear-streaked cheeks "Did you write it?"
I nodded. "I did."
"It's beautiful," she whispered.
"I wanted you kids to read it someday. Especially Kate. She's always been
curious about how your mother and I met."
"Will you read to me?" Tanya handed me the book and scooted across the
couch, resting her head on my shoulder and closing her eyes. "Tell me what you
were like before you had me."
"I'd love to." I opened the page and cleared my throat. "The months following the accident…"
-May 1988-
The months following the accident at The Bear's Den were some of the worst in
my history. They were some of the worst in our history as well.
Charlie wasn't exaggerating when he said he didn't want me to go near his
daughter. In fact, he did everything in his power to keep her from me, including
having her moved out of the classes that we shared. In his mind I was just
another asshole teenager that had no respect for the law, authority, or his little
girl.
Bella was just as upset with me. I'd had a hand in the destruction of her father's
lifeblood. Sure, he had insurance on the place and in time a new bar would
eventually be built on the same spot of land, but his primary source of income
was gone, and that put a big strain on their family.
The only good thing that came out of it all was Charlie deciding not to press
charges. I wasn't the one who started the fire that destroyed his bar, but I was
an accomplice of sorts, so I was relieved to find out that he'd decided to spare
us of any legal repercussions.
I spent the majority of my newfound free time in my uncle's woodshop. I'd
always gone there when I needed to decompress, but now I needed to escape,
and that was what I did. I got so wrapped up in the ornate details of the things I
crafted that I often forgot about all of my problems with Bella. Unfortunately I
couldn't stay working forever, and as soon as I left the shop everything would
hit me like a ton of bricks. I still had my friends but I didn't the person that
meant the most to me, and that sucked.
Signs advertising senior prom started to pop up towards the end of April. The
dance was on May 21, which also happened to be my 18th birthday. My friends
were prepared to celebrate, but I wanted no part of it.
"C'mon, Edward," Alice whined. "You have to get out of this funk. I mean it's
your 18th birthday. That's worth celebrating."
"She's right, man." Emmett picked up a kernel of popcorn and tossed it at my
head. "I know things haven't been the greatest, but you can't stay stuck like
this forever. Graduation is coming and that means a fresh start for us all."
I scowled. "Gee, I wonder why they haven't been the greatest?"
Emmett sighed. "I've said my apologies, Edward. That's the most I can do." It
had taken Emmett and I a while to get back in each other's good graces. He was
responsible for the fire that destroyed my relationship and I was responsible for
his getting in trouble for it. It was a lose-lose situation for the both of us, but
we'd somehow managed to find it in ourselves to forgive the other. I still felt
some bitterness at times though, and that was one of them.
"Please don't fight," Rose pleaded. "I can't handle any arguing today."
"Why would I want to go to prom, Alice? I hate dances."
Alice arched one brow. "Correction—you used to hate dances. You haven't
seemed to mind any of the ones you've been to this year."
"I didn't mind them because I was in good company." I looked over Emmett's
shoulder to where Bella was sitting, engrossed in whatever book she was
reading. "Besides, I don't want to see her there with someone else. I can't
handle that."
"She's not going with anyone else," Alice said. Despite everything that had
happened, Bella still talked to the girls and Jasper. It bothered me at first, but
I'd forced myself to get over it.
"Regardless, I don't want to be in the same room with her if I can't touch her, or
even talk to her." I wrapped up the remainder of my turkey sandwich and
pushed it away.
"You two are infuriating." Alice banged her hand down the table and I jumped.
"She doesn't want to see you with anyone else and you don't want to see her
with anyone else. You're always stealing glances at each other, which are
incredibly obvious even though you're trying to be all sly about it. Just … go to
the dance, Edward. I don't think you'll hate it as much as you think you will."
I spent the next few weeks contemplating what I should do. My curiosity finally
got the best of me and I trekked to Duluth with Jasper and Emmett in search of
a tux. Alice reassured me that Bella didn't have a date, and eventually I found
myself standing awkwardly against the wall at my birthday party/senior prom.
A few of our classmates came up to wish me a happy birthday, but their words
went in one ear and out the other. My mind was on one track that night, and I
couldn't stop staring at the door, waiting for Bella to make her entrance.
By nine o'clock she still hadn't shown up, and I was feeling defeated. I said
goodbye to my friends and was on my way outside when I found her.
"Edward?" Her hair was freshly curled and hung loosely around her face. She
had a light coat of makeup on, and the royal blue dress she wore hugged her
curves perfectly.
I couldn't think of anything to say, so I said what was on my mind. "You look
beautiful."
A pink blush coated her cheeks and she looked down and smiled shyly. "Thank
you."
"I was just leaving…" my words trailed off and I pointed to my jeep. She bit her lip and wrung her hands.
"Can I come with you?"
"Your dad will kill me," I pointed out. I wanted her to come with me more than
anything, but I didn't want her to have to face the wrath of Charlie Swan if he
found out.
She walked toward me, stopping when we were mere inches apart. Standing on
her toes, she brought her lips to my ear. "I don't care what he thinks," she
whispered. "I can't stay away from you."
Her warm breath left a trail of goose bumps on my skin. When she pulled away
and looked up at me, I saw nothing but love and longing in her sweet brown
eyes. I reached out and took her hand in mine, and together we made our way
across the parking lot.
Her lips were on mine as soon as we were in the jeep. She kissed me with an
intensity I'd never before experienced, like she was trying to erase my
transgressions, make up for lost time, and mend what was broken between us. I
pulled away and ran my knuckles over her cheek. She closed her eyes and
pressed her face against me, and as my hand trailed lower, over her jaw, down
her neck and across the top of her breasts, I felt her shiver.
"I've missed you," I murmured, pulling her to me and kissing her again. She
was breathless when we parted, and she tipped her head forward, resting it on
my chest.
"I've missed you too. So much."
I ran my hands through her hair, marveling at how soft it felt. I had no idea
what would happen after that night, no idea whether Charlie would relax his
rules or maintain them, but in that moment, everything felt right again.
"I was so mad," she went on. "Charlie worked so hard to buy that place, and
then one night of stupidity destroyed it all. But I shouldn't have let it tear us up
like it did. I shouldn't have focused all of my anger on you, Edward, especially
since you weren't the one who lit it up. I just … I didn't know what else to do."
"Shh," I whispered, kissing the top of her head. "You had every right to be
upset. I didn't start the fire, but I should have called the police, or done
something to help stop it. I'm sorry that I screwed up like that."
She pulled me close to her, and for the first time in weeks I felt like things
might be okay again.
"Let's get out of here," she whispered, sitting up. I took her hand in mine and
squeezed it.
"To where?"
"Anywhere."
I started the jeep and pointed it in the direction of the Stanley house. When I
pulled to the side of the road, Bella smiled.
"I can't hike through the woods in these shoes."
"True," I agreed. "But I can carry you." I walked around to Bella's side of the
jeep, removing her heels and turning around so she could climb on my back. I
maneuvered through the trees carefully, following the path I'd come to know so
well.
We arrived in the meadow and I crouched down so Bella could stand.
"We forgot a blanket, " she pointed out, rubbing her hands up and down on her
arms. I took my tuxedo jacket off and covered her with it.
"We sure did."
"It's oaky," she said, sitting down and crossing her legs beneath her. I dropped
down on the grass next to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.
"Remember the first time we came out here?" I asked. Bella tipped her head
back and laughed.
"You rescued me from Nasty Newton and Creepy Crowley," she said. I chuckled
at her nicknames for them.
"We talked for hours that afternoon. About everything. And you know what I
realized that day?" I leaned down and kissed her neck. "I realized I wanted you
in my life permanently."
She gasped and turned to face me. I grabbed her hip with one hand and cupped
her face with the other, pulling her onto my lap until she straddled me. I caught
her lips with mine, coaxing them apart with my tongue as it sought hers out.
She ran her hands over my shoulders and down my chest, stopping when she
reached the first button my shirt. I could see the question in her eyes when
mine met them, and I nodded my permission. My lips found hers once more as
her fingers began to undo the buttons. I'd imagined this experience so many
times, but now that it was finally happening I was scared shitless.
"Happy Birthday, Edward," Bella whispered. "I love you."
That night, Bella showed me just how true those words were.
And together we shared another fist.
No comments:
Post a Comment