Chapter Song: All Apologies by Nirvana
Characters belong to SM. Everything else belongs to me.
Chapter 20 – We Need to Talk
Emmett's POV
The light was on in Rosalie's window, but she still wasn't answering any of my calls. I'd spent the previous twenty minutes pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, debating whether I should
just give up and go home or see if her doorman would let me in the building.
When yet another call went unanswered, I decided the later option was the best.
"Good evening, Mr. Hale."
I mentally crossed my fingers. "Good evening. I'm here to see Ms. Smith."
"She didn't tell me she was expecting anyone."
"Well, um…" I knew she wouldn't answer if he phoned up to her apartment, but I didn't have the energy to come up with some embellished story to tell the doorman either. "Look, I haven't
been able to get in touch with her for several days and I'm worried. She doesn't know I'm here, I was hoping this could be a surprise, and I really would appreciate any help you can give
me."
He narrowed his eyes and scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I never do this for anyone, Emmett, so don't think it's going to be a routine thing." He used his access card to open the door and
gestured for me to enter.
I raised my hand to give him a fist bump, but he simply stared at me like I was a foreign creature. I smiled my thanks instead and made a beeline across the lobby.
The elevator ride did nothing to calm my nerves. The last time I saw my girlfriend was the morning we were supposed to leave to see my parents. Rose had told me that she wasn't feeling
well and she didn't want to risk getting anyone else sick if she had something serious. I tried to persuade her to come with me anyway, telling her we could return to the city that night if
she still didn't feel well, but she insisted on holing herself up and told me to have a good time and apologize to my parents for her absence.
That was four days ago and I had yet to get Rose to leave her apartment, or let me come over. Getting her to answer her phone was like pulling teeth, and when she texted me back the
replies were short and unrevealing. As much as I wanted to believe she was simply ill, I couldn't help but think there was something else wrong that she hadn't shared.
I stepped off the elevator and glanced down her hall. My nerves got the best of me as I neared her door, and I almost turned around, but I took a deep breath and stopped myself.
I could hear the television playing inside, so I knew that she was home. I raised my hand and knocked hard three times.
"Just a minute," she called. From the sound of her voice, Rosalie wasn't sick at all.
The door opened and there she stood looking healthy as can be. She's expecting someone? You've got to be kidding me.
"Emmett! What are you doing here?" The color drained from her face and she stood on her toes and peered around me. "Are you alone?"
I crossed my arms over my chest and cocked my head to the side, wondering what the best way to approach this situation was. "I should be asking you that question."
She frowned. "Of course I'm alone! Who the hell would be in here with me?"
This was not off to a good start.
"I don't know, but you certainly looked like you were expecting someone else when you opened the door."
She rolled her eyes and smirked. "I am expecting someone – the Chinese delivery man, to be exact. I'm not sure about you, but I don't usually order a side of booty call with my lo mein."
"Can I come inside?" I felt silly asking, but since I had no idea what the hell was going on I thought it best.
Rose stared at me for some time, and then her features softened. "Of course you can." She stepped aside and I made my way around her. I didn't even get a chance to remove my shoes
when her tears started to fall.
"What's wrong?" I asked, pulling her against me. She rested her head on my shoulder and fisted my t-shirt in her hands. I wrapped my arms tighter around her, which only seemed to
strengthen the sobs.
"Everything," she cried, leaning back and looking up at me. I brushed her hair away from her face and swiped my thumb across the tears that dampened her cheek.
"Let's sit down and talk about it," I offered. She nodded and grabbed my hand, following me through her kitchen and to the living room. I took a seat on the sofa and she followed suit,
crossing her legs Indian-style beneath her and facing me. I took a deep breath and forged ahead. "I've been worried about you, Rose. You haven't been returning my calls and your texts
have been so cryptic."
"I know and I'm sorry." She looked down at her hands and started fidgeting with her bracelet. "I haven't been myself lately, and as a result I haven't felt like spending time with anyone. I
should have told you that, but I didn't know how."
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" I reached out and tucked my thumb beneath her chin, lifting her face until our eyes met. "I'm always here for you, no matter what. Never
forget that, okay?"
She nodded and grabbed my wrist with both hands. Her eyes filled with tears once more and she sucked in a choppy breath. "I'm pregnant."
There was no way I heard her correctly. "What?"
She dropped my wrist and pushed my hand away. "I'm pregnant, Emmett. Knocked up, housing a bun in my oven, whatever the hell you want to call it." The tears were falling freely once
more and she wiped at them furiously.
"Well, this is … unexpected."
"Unexpected? You're telling me!" I wasn't sure if she realized it, but Rose was rubbing small circles over her stomach. The gesture caused the corners of my mouth to lift in a smile.
"When did you find this out?"
"I took three tests last Thursday at Alice's apartment."
"You've known since last Thursday and you never said anything?" A strange mixture of emotions whirled around in my stomach. "Is this why you didn't want to go up to Maine?"
Rose nodded and wiped her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt. "I'm sorry I lied about being sick. Although it wasn't entirely a lie; I've been heaving my guts out every morning for the past
few weeks."
I scooted closer to her and rested my hands on her knees, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Why didn't you tell me? You certainly didn't have to go through this all alone for the past four
days."
"I was terrified to tell you, Emmett." She stood and ran her fingers through her hair, looking everywhere in the room but at me. "Neither one of us wants kids. We're young, we're
successful, our careers are launching – where in that equation do you see a variable for a baby?"
"Not all things that happen to us fit perfectly in life's equation." I stood and moved toward her, grabbing her shoulders gently and looking in her eyes. "Do I feel like I'm ready for a baby?
Hell no. Are we in the best place in our relationship to add another member to it? Probably not, but we'll never know unless we give it a chance, right?"
Her eyes grew wide and brimmed with a fresh set of tears. I ran my fingertips over the shell of her ear and down her neck. Goosebumps peppered her skin and she dropped her forehead
down so it was resting against my chest. "How are you not angry right now?"
"Rose, Rose, Rose," I mumbled, pressing my lips to the top of her head softly. "How many months have we been together?"
"Is that a rhetorical question?"
I chuckled. "How many months?"
"Three."
"And in three months time have I ever gotten angry?"
She looked up at me and cracked a small smile. "No."
"So why would I start by getting mad now?"
"Because, this is a big fucking deal!" She slumped fully against me and I wrapped my arms tightly around her. "It's not like we're disagreeing over what movie to rent or what restaurant to
go to, Em. This is a huge, life-changing event! And what if things don't work out between us? What the fuck do we do then?"
I took a deep breath. "But what if they do work out? What if this ends up being the best thing that happens to us?"
Even I had trouble believing my optimism.
"So you want to keep it?" She backed away from me and dropped back down on the couch.
"I think we should," I said slowly. "I think we should try and see this as a good thing, and continue to work on us and grow together. And whatever happens will happen, but at least we'll
always know we did the best we could."
She stared at me in silence, taking in everything I said. A dozen different emotions flickered over her face before she finally smirked. "Okay. But, I do have one condition."
"What's that?"
"I am not marrying you anytime soon, Hale." She stood once more and pressed her palms against my chest, fisting my shirt and pulling me to her.
I laughed. "Don't worry, I wasn't planning on asking."
"Not that I would never marry you," she continued. "I just don't want to be one of those cliché couples who runs to the alter just because a baby comes along."
"Rosalie Smith, have we ever been a cliché couple?" I brushed my nose against hers and stuck my tongue out.
"Not at all."
"And with the arrival of whoever you have growing in here," I rubbed her belly appreciatively, "we're about to become an even more un-cliché couple."
Tears sprang forward once more, and Rose stood on her toes until our lips met softly. I ran my fingers through her hair, cupping the back of her head with my hand and pulling her closer
to me.
I couldn't get enough of this woman. She had full ownership of my heart, and had since shortly after I first laid eyes on her.
The idea that together we had created new life terrified me. But, at the same time, it brought this overwhelming sense of joy with it as well.
Things between us might not go exactly as we both planned – and hoped - but to me, that didn't matter.
Somehow, I just knew everything would be okay.
Jasper's POV
I had just gotten in the car when my cell phone rang. Edward's name was flashing on the screen, and I almost didn't answer. I didn't think he'd call unless it was to apologize, however, so I
reluctantly pressed the accept button.
"Hello?"
"Hey Jas." Yep, this was definitely an apology call. The tone of his voice said it all.
"What's up?"
There was a long pause followed by a sigh. "I'm sorry I was such a dick on Saturday." I waited for him to continue. "I'll admit I was taken aback by the news, but that's no excuse for me to
act the way I did. When it comes down to it, you're right; I have an amazing thing going with Bella and Jessica shouldn't even be on my mind."
"Apology accepted," I finally said. "And thank God. I was beginning to think you'd never see what's been right in front of you for the past three months."
"I'm sure you aren't the only one," Edward chuckled. "When do you start this new job?"
"Next Monday. I only gave The Journal a week's notice, so I'm not the most popular guy over there right now."
"I bet Aro is freaking the fuck out right about now. He's actually going to have to do his job now instead of pawning everything off on you."
I laughed. "Hopefully there isn't another Aro waiting for me at GQ."
"Well, if I don't talk to you before Monday, good luck man!" Edward's smile was audible. "I'd chat longer, but Charlie is taking me fishing."
"Charlie? Fishing?"
"Bella's dad," he explained. "We got to Seattle yesterday and I guess it's steelhead season or something."
It was taking every ounce of my self-control to avoid laughing. "Who are you and what have you done with Edward Cullen?"
"Shut up!" He lowered his voice. "This guy used to be a cop. Did you know that? I'll do whatever it takes to stay in his good graces. Plus it makes Bella happy, and that's what's important,
you know?"
"You, my friend, are getting whipped with a capital W."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say that like you already aren't."
"Oh, I'm more than willing to own up to that. In fact, I'd put it on a billboard in the middle of Times Square if you asked me to."
"You better watch out. I'll hold you to that when I get back to the city." Edward mumbled something to someone in the background. "I gotta go. We're cool, right?"
"Yeah, man, we're cool."
Until he finds out whom you're going to dinner with.
"Let me know how the job goes."
"Absolutely. Good luck fishing! Make sure someone has a camera for this experience," I teased. Edward laughed and we said our goodbyes before hanging up.
I started my car and began the stop-and-go drive to Queens. I didn't spend much time in this borough, but it was where Jessica and Riley lived, and given her situation it seemed like the
best option for dinner.
When I stopped in at GQ on Monday, Jessica just happened to be waiting to catch the elevator. As much as I didn't want to admit it, she seemed to have had a significant influence on my
getting hired, and so I invited her out for a thank you meal.
I didn't tell anyone – especially Edward – about my plans for the evening. I had no intention of spending any other time with this woman or her husband. All I wanted was a nice way to
show my gratitude, and this seemed like a decent option.
I pulled to a stop in front of a row of brownstones and hopped out. Jess had the door open and her coat on before I even made it to the front steps.
"Jasper!" She descended the stairs, holding the railing and walking slowly and carefully. When she was close enough, I opened my arms and gave her a warm hug.
"You're glowing," I told her, taking in her figure. I didn't know much about pregnancy, but I guessed she was seven or eight months along.
"Aw, thank you. Riley tells me the same thing every morning."
We got in my Jeep and I followed her directions to a small deli several blocks from her home.
"How have you been?" she asked me once we were seated.
"Staying busy, as always." I sipped my coffee and met her eyes. "It feels like there's this never ending string of obligations that I have to tend to. Every time I think life might be quieting
down, something new crops up and I'm swept away in the chaos again."
"And you thought working at GQ would help that?" she laughed.
I chuckled. "No, no I can't say I thought it would help. I do think it will be a good experience though."
The waiter dropped off our food and we both dug in. Several bites and one embarrassingly large belch on my behalf later, Jessica put down her fork and took a deep breath. "Does Edward
know about the job yet?"
"Oh yes." I rolled my eyes when I thought about my best friend's reaction to the news. "My girlfriend spilled the beans to his girlfriend, who then spilled them to him."
"Edward has a girlfriend?"
I nodded and finished chewing my food before answering. "He's dating his publicist, Bella Swan. You can't tell me you haven't seen the shit on Page Six?"
"Oh, I saw it, I just didn't believe it."
"He's good to her." I smiled as I said the words. "And she's good for him. She doesn't take any of his shit and she isn't afraid to put him in his place. Which, as we both know, is exactly
what he needs in a woman."
"He still texts me, you know."
"What?"
"Let me rephrase that – he was still texting me." She picked up her napkin and began to tear it in to tiny pieces. "I think the last one was probably back in November. They were never
scandalous or anything like that. Sometimes he'd ask how I was, other times he'd propose meeting for a meal. I rarely replied, and when I did I reminded him about Riley."
"Did Riley ever know about the texts?"
She shook her head. "No, I didn't dare tell him. He still has beef over the stunt Edward pulled at my graduation."
"Well, I can't exactly say I blame him."
The corners of her mouth curled up in amusement. "So, who's this girlfriend of yours?"
"Her name is Alice, and she's actually Bella's business partner."
"What a small world! Did you meet her before Edward met Bella, or…?"
"Actually, I met her through Edward. He had just started working with Bella and we ended up bumping into their crowd at the bar one night." Okay, so we didn't bump into them, exactly.
But Jessica didn't need to know it was planned.
"Talk about a small world!" Jessica sipped her water. "How long have you two been together?"
"We started dating back in October, so … three months?"
"Do you love her?"
I knew I was blushing. "Would I sound like a complete loser if I said yes?"
"Absolutely not!" Jess reached across the table and squeezed my fingers. "When you love someone – and I mean really love them – you just know. There's no time limit on things like that."
I looked across the table into her hazel-colored eyes, and for the first time all evening I felt completely awkward. I hadn't even told Edward I was in love with Alice yet, and here I was
telling his ex-lover. I had come to be cordial to her, not to catch her up on the details of my love life. Time for a subject change, I thought.
"Enough about me," I said, pulling my hand back and resting it in my lap. "When are you due?"
"March 28," she answered with a grin. "And as much as I love the whole 'miracle of life' thing, the end of these next eight weeks couldn't come soon enough."
"I can only imagine. This is your first child?"
"Yes. Riley wants like five of them, but I'm putting my foot down after two."
We continued our discussion on family size for several more minutes before flipping over to a more neutral topic – GQ. Jess gave me the scoop on the other editors, told me who I needed
to watch out for and who I should form close ties with, and even tipped me in on a few of the more popular sports story ideas the editor-in-chief had brought up in the most recent editor
meeting. The farther we veered from personal topics, the more comfortable I was with the situation, and before long two hours had passed.
"How is it seven-thirty already?" Jessica looked up at me with wide eyes. "Riley is probably wondering what's taking so long."
"You told him we were doing this?"
"Of course." She stood and slipped on her coat. "I don't keep secrets from him. Didn't you tell Alice?"
"Well, no, not exactly." I ran my fingers through my hair and smiled sheepishly. "She doesn't know the whole story with you and Edward and all that."
"You should still tell her," Jessica scolded, leading me outside to where I had parked. When we were both buckled in, I began the short trip back to her house.
"Thanks again for the recommendation."
"No problem." She unbuckled her belt and turned to face me when we came to a stop. "I always liked you, Jasper. I have no doubt you'll be a great addition to our team."
"I'm crossing my fingers that you're right." I got out and went around to open her door, helping her out of the Jeep and onto the sidewalk. She smiled and squeezed my arm.
"If it ever becomes appropriate, tell Edward I said hello. Things might not have worked for us, but I've never wanted him to be anything less than happy."
I nodded. "I'll keep that in mind." I watched as she trotted up the walk. The front door opened and Riley appeared, holding it for his wife and waving at me. I returned the wave and pulled
the keys from my pocket.
Any anxiety I felt about working at the magazine had disappeared. It was clear that Jessica held no grudges, and that she was perfectly capable of remaining professional and polite.
I smiled to myself as I started the Jeep.
Thirty-two was just around the corner, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I was completely optimistic about my own future.
I had a new job to look forward to.
I had a great group of friends and a comfortable lifestyle in one of the greatest cities around.
Best of all, I had an amazing woman by my side and a trip to Paris to look forward to this spring.
Everything was ebbing and flowing perfectly.
I pulled away from the curb, starting my journey home.
2012 was going to be a great year for everyone.
I could just feel it.
Rose's POV
I dialed Alice's number five different times before finally hitting the send button and putting the call through.
It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to my best friend. In truth, I'd wanted to talk to her all week, but my stubborn nature kept me from calling. Now that things were out in the open with
Emmett, I knew I owed Alice an apology. I just hoped she was willing to listen after the horrible things I'd said to her.
"It took you long enough, don't you think?" I heaved a sigh of relief when I heard Alice's tone. I could already tell all was forgiven, and I hadn't even said what I wanted to.
"I could hang up and wait a few more days to call you," I joked. Alice clicked her tongue.
"Absolutely not! I have been worried sick about you for the past week!"
"I know, and I'm so sorry." My face flushed with embarrassment. "I was a complete bitch to you and all you were doing was trying to be supportive."
"No, you were a complete Smith to me. If I didn't know any better I'd think you borrowed a page right out of your sister's book."
I chuckled. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?"
"Do you even need to ask?" Alice laughed. "You know I can't stay mad at you. You and Bella are the other half of my heart."
"Honestly Alice, I was freaking out and had no idea what to do." I squeezed my eyes shut. "I didn't mean to brush you off or blow up like that. I don't know what I was thinking."
"You weren't thinking. Which is perfectly understandable, although I wish you would have stuck around long enough to see Jasper discover three positive pregnancy tests in my kitchen
trash."
"Oh my God!" I was mortified. "I take it he knows then?"
"Well I certainly didn't tell him I was pregnant!"
"Make sure to thank him for not spilling the beans to Emmett."
"Consider it done."
I prefaced my next sentence with a long pause. "God, Alice. I can't even keep my own shit together." I let out a long breath and ran my fingers through my hair. "What the hell kind of
mother am I going to be?"
"An amazing one." I could hear the smile in her voice.
"What makes you so sure?"
"Because, that's who you are. When it comes to things – and people – that you care about, you've never let yourself be anything less than amazing."
"Emmett said the same thing."
"When did you tell him?"
"I spent all weekend avoiding him. He finally showed up on my doorstep yesterday," I explained.
"And?"
"He thinks we should keep it and see how things go."
"No moving in together and having a shotgun wedding?"
"Hello no!" I cringed at the thought. "I made it very clear that I will not marry a man because of a pregnancy."
"I'm glad," Alice said sincerely. "I would rather see things work out for the two of you than have them fall apart prematurely."
"Me too, Al. Me too."
I heard mumbled voices in the background and Alice whispered to someone. "I don't mean to cut this short, but I have to go. Bianca has a concert tonight and the Whitlocks just arrived."
"Melding families already? That's a big step!"
"Go big or go home, right?" Alice teased. "Call you tomorrow?"
"I love you, Ali."
"I love you too, bitch."
I laughed as we said our goodbyes. I didn't bother to put the phone down; there was still one more call I needed to make.
"Rose!" Bella exclaimed. "We must be on the same wavelength today. Renee and I were just talking about you."
Think of all the talking they'll be doing after this call ends.
"Tell her I send my love."
"Hang on a sec." The noise in the background grew softer and then I heard a door open and close. "If I don't go out on the porch she doesn't stop talking."
"It's nice to hear that some things never change," I joked.
"Tell me about it. So, how are you? I haven't heard from you in over a week!"
"I know, things have been a bit chaotic." I contemplated making some small talk, but decided to just cut right to the chase. "I need to tell you something."
Her response was immediate. "Did Emmett pop the question?"
If only it were that simple.
"No, no, nothing like that." I took a deep breath and crossed my fingers. "I'm pregnant."
My announcement was greeted with silence.
"Hello…?"
"I'm here, I'm here." I could picture her pacing back and forth on the front porch. "Shit, Rose. You're going to be a mother! When did you find out?"
"A week ago." I immediately felt guilty. In all the time I'd known Bella, I'd never kept a secret from her. "I would have told you sooner, but I was having some difficulty digesting it."
"Oh sweetie, something like that is yours to announce and nobody else's." She paused, letting out a sigh. "Did you talk to Emmett about it?"
"Yeah, we talked yesterday."
"I'm guessing everything went okay…?"
I nodded, knowing full well Bella couldn't see me. "Surprisingly, yes. We're keeping it, and we're going to stay together."
"And you're sure this is what you want?" She hesitated, as if she wasn't sure whether or not to continue. "I'm not questioning your judgment or anything, I'm just making sure you're going
with a decision that will make you happy too."
"A week ago I would have told you I wasn't sure," I said honestly. "Now, after thinking about it, and after talking things over with Emmett, I think this is the best thing to do."
"Wow. Just, wow."
The tears I'd managed to hold in all day brimmed my eyes and spilled over on my cheeks. "I wish you were here," I whispered.
"I would be on a plane tomorrow if you asked."
"No! No, no, no!" I wiped my cheeks and sniffled. "You have a job to do and a boyfriend to travel with."
"He would understand, Rose."
As much as I missed her, I was too prideful to ever ask Bella to come home for me. "I appreciate the offer – and his understanding – but no. Just don't be surprised if you get a few late
night hormonal freak out calls in the next couple of weeks."
"Call and freak out all you need."
"Bella!" Renee was back. "Can you help me start dinner?"
She grunted in disgust. "I'm being summoned. Remind me again why I thought it would be fun for Edward and I to spend a few days in Forks?"
I laughed. "Because you want your parents to adore him as much as you do?"
"And adore they do."
"Bella!"
"Go help your mom! And tell her I send my love!"
"Promise you'll call if you need anything? Even if it is the middle of the night."
"I promise," I said with a smile. "Love you Bell."
"Love you too, Rose. Give Ali a hug for me."
I dropped down on the couch and let out a big sigh of relief.
Everyone I wanted to know about my pregnancy now knew about it.
No, I hadn't told my family, but that would come in time – and when Emmett was ready to be there to announce it with me.
I looked down at my stomach and rested my hand on the top of my shirt. "We can do this, kiddo. Everything will be okay."
Hopefully I was right.
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