Characters belong to SM. Recognizable people and places belong to their respective owners. Everything else belongs to me.
Chapter 15 – Home for the Holidays
Bella's POV
It had been a little over two weeks since Edward's book release party and my head hadn't stopped spinning.
The article in The Journal sent some people into a frenzy, and not just because of the news of the book tour. A single sentence about his "rush to give his 'publicist', Bella Swan, a kiss of
thanks" had left people focused not only on Edward's book, but also on our "budding romance," as the trash rags referred to it.
Everything I'd hoped wouldn't happen was happening and I felt like there wasn't much I could do to stop it.
"Ms. Swan?" The Barnes and Noble employee greeted me politely. "We're ready for Mr. Cullen."
"Great! Edward – er, Mr. Cullen – should be here any minute." The employee gave me a tight-lipped smile and pivoted away, heading back in the direction of the line that had started to
form about an hour earlier.
I slipped my phone out of my pocket and punched a quick text in.
Where are you? – B.
"I'm right here, oh impatient one," Edward drawled, stopping beside me to straighten his tie. I crossed my arms over my chest and eyed him with irritation.
He looked amazing, as usual. Nice suit, nice shoes, gorgeous grin. His hair was tousled enough that it looked sexy, not messy, and his green eyes were ablaze with energy.
"I'm so glad you decided to put in an appearance at your first book signing," I muttered, reaching out to pull a piece of lint from his suit coat. He raised his hand and covered mine with it,
squeezing my fingers gently.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I wish I had a creative excuse to give you, but I don't. My time management skills haven't gotten any better with age."
"C'mon, they're waiting for you." I pulled my hand away and stepped aside, allowing him to walk in front of me. The Barnes and Noble employee gave a brief introduction to both Edward
and his book and then the signing started.
I stood several feet behind Edward and off to the left. I'd seen other publicists play this role in the past, but I'd never done it myself up until now. Of course these other publicists also
worked with A-List authors who drew in massive crowds and had fans that didn't understand how to behave appropriately. Needless to say, there wasn't too much excitement during this
signing.
Unless you counted Laurent and Mike's antics as excitement, that is.
"Edward Cullen! The stars finally aligned and put me in your presence!" Mike gushed, pushing his already signed copy of Edward's book across the table.
Edward laughed and opened the book to the title page, frowning in confusion. "This is already signed."
"Of course it is, genius. It's from the release party." Laurent pushed past the employee that was monitoring the line and bumped Mike out of his way, placing his book on the table as well.
"But we want them personalized."
"I see," Edward grabbed Mike's book and tapped his pen against his chin. "What to write…"
"To Mike, the best looking, most well-endowed man in Manhattan."
Laurent rolled eyes his and scoffed. "More like the most delusional, hot mess in the Empire State."
"Gentlemen, we have a whole line of people to get through. Could you please be more concise so Mr. Cullen can sign your books?" The employee assisting Edward was becoming impatient.
"Excuse me? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" Mike puffed his chest out and pushed his nose up in the air. Edward bit back a laugh and glanced helplessly at me.
I thought for a moment before stepping forward and whispering something to him. A grin spread across his face, and he pulled Mike's book toward him, scribbling a short message inside
and handing it back. He did the same thing to Laurent's book and then shooed them on with an exaggerated flick of his wrist.
"OH MY STARS!" Laurent's shriek echoed throughout the store. I snorted out a laugh, surprising myself, and covered my mouth quickly. Edward simply winked at me and greeted the woman
who had just approached the table.
Time seemed to fly and before long the last patron had come through the line and the store employees were busy taking down the table and moving the display. Edward chatted with the
store manager while I phoned Sam. Within twenty minutes we were seated in the back of the Town Car, on our way to meet our friends for drinks.
"How did I do?" Edward asked, reminding me of a school-aged kid asking about his first big homework assignment. I smiled and reached over to squeeze his forearm.
"Perfect," I answered honestly. "You're a natural at this. If I didn't know you I would never have guessed that was your first signing."
His smile widened and he did a mini fist pump. "That was such an amazing experience, Bella. I mean, it's one thing to get together and celebrate your book's release with family and
friends, but it's a whole new feeling having people come out just to meet you because you wrote something that resonated with them."
The excitement he felt was radiating off him, leaving me feeling hopelessly excited too. His eyes were sparkling, his skin was practically glowing, and it took every ounce of strength I had
to keep myself on the seat and out of his lap.
"Tomorrow is going to be insane," he continued. "In a good way, of course."
"You aren't nervous?"
He raked a hand through his hair and chuckled. "I'm scared shitless," he admitted. "But at this moment, my excitement from tonight is overshadowing everything else."
"Well, then by all means, let the excitement continue!" Sam pulled the car to a stop and we both got out. I held the door to the pub open and gestured for Edward to enter. "Hot shot book
authors first."
We found our friends squeezed around a much-too-small table in the very back corner of the place. It was insanely busy, an Irish punk rock band was belting out music so loud that we had
to shout to hear one another, and it seemed like forever before the waitress made it over to take our drink order.
"We saved you a seat!" Mike yelled at Edward, patting the empty chair between him and Laurent.
"I think I'll sit by Bella, thanks," Edward said. I laughed and shook my head, placing my hands flat against his back and pushing him towards the open space.
"I think you owe it to these two to sit there," I said, trying my best to keep a blank expression. "After all, they took the time to save this seat for you."
"Yeah, Cullen. Don't be a puss. It's not like our gayness spreads through the air," Laurent quipped.
"Alright, gentlemen, whatever you want." Edward slid the chair out and sat down. Mike looked giddy as I rounded the table and took the other open spot between Alice and Rose.
"How was the rest of the signing?" Laurent asked.
"Not nearly as entertaining as when you two were there."
"Then you shouldn't have let that disgusting, bossy, pimple faced man shoo us out so quick!" Mike looked hurt.
"Yeah, Cullen." Laurent scowled. "You could have at least bought us an extra five minutes to do some public swooning before giving us the boot."
Edward held his hands up in defeat. "What can I say? I don't make the rules."
Mike took a sip of his cosmo and scoffed. "Perhaps we need to find someone to better enforce the rules than that hot mess over there." He stuck one finger out and pointed in my direction.
"How did I get dragged into this?"
"You're the publicist, honey. Isn't it your job to ensure that your client gets adequate time with his fans?"
"Oh, please, Newton. Are you even going to read the fucking book?" Rose interjected.
"Probably not, but I will add it to my coffee table collection. I'm bound to have at least one guest that's curious about finance."
"What were you swooning over anyway?" Alice piped up.
"We got our books personalized." Laurent reached beneath the table and produced his copy of Edward's book. He handed it to Alice, who flipped it open and cleared her throat.
"To Laurent," she said in her best imitation of Edward's voice. "Put your money where your mouth is and your mouth where Mike's money maker is." Alice barely got the last word out
before she started laughing.
"Wow." Emmett's eyes were wide but amusement was evident in his features. "That'll be something to show the grandkids someday."
Laurent choked on his beer. "Grandkids? Oh, honey, I'd eat pussy before I had any kind of kids." This remark caused another round of laughter.
Alice turned her attention to Mike. "What does your personalization say?"
"Oh, it's nothing special," Mike answered quickly, waving his hand in the air dismissively. "I'm sure Edward wants to talk more about the signing."
"Oh no, you're not getting off the hook that quick." Alice held her hand out and snapped her fingers. "Hand it over, Newton. Don't make me have to go looking."
Mike rolled his eyes and let out a loud, disgusted sigh. He reached beneath the table and produced his own book, reluctantly giving it to Alice.
"To Mike," Alice read. "Some choose to invest in stocks and bonds; you should invest in a dom."
Rose and I immediately burst into laughter.
"It's not funny!" He snatched the book from Alice and stuffed it under his thigh. "As much as you three ladies love to dredge up the past, there are some of us who would be much happier if
it was left there."
"Consider this payback for your 'Great Red Carpet Disaster of 2009' bullshit." I used my fingers to make air quotes.
"You can't even compare the two, sweetie. That fiasco was entirely your doing."
"The great what?" Jasper looked back and forth between Mike and I with a confused expression.
"You haven't told any of them this story yet?" Mike rubbed his palms together excitedly. I didn't even bother to protest because I knew it was no use. "We were all at fashion week for
Rose's show and Bella here just happened to be walking the red carpet behind none other than Josh Duhamel. Everything was fine until she stepped down funny and broke the heel off her
shoe, which sent her flying into him and that Fergalicious wife of his. They all three ended up in a pile on the ground."
Emmett whooped with laughter. "How did we not see pictures of this all over the place?"
"Oh, trust me, the pictures are there," I answered. As embarrassing as it was, I couldn't help but laugh myself at the memory. "If you do some good Googling you'll find them."
"After that our darling Washington woman started wearing flats to every event, regardless of how ridiculous she looked." Mike reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "You know I
love you, right?"
"Yeah, and right now you better thank your lucky stars that the feeling is mutual," I teased. "I'm sure Laurent would love to hear some dirt on you."
"I can beat the dirt out of him, Bella. What I want to hear about is Edward's speech tomorrow and why none of us get to go!" Laurent waved his empty beer bottle in the air in an attempt to
get the attention of our waitress.
"They invited me at the last minute and all the tickets were gone already," Edward explained.
"Tickets? Who the fuck needs a ticket to get into a graduation?"
"It was like that back when we graduated too," Jasper said with a shrug.
"Well, make sure you tell the dean or whoever that your fan club is very disappointed," Laurent whined, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. Edward just laughed and tipped his
beer back.
Three hours and too many drinks later we were all feeling happy, with the exception of Edward who had elected to stay mostly sober.
"C'mon, Swan!" Alice slung her arm around my waist and pulled me close to her as we made our way outside. "You can share a cab with me!"
"I thought you were coming home with me?" Jasper tried to get Alice into her coat but his attempts were unsuccessful.
"I'll come see you tomorrow, Jazz." She stood on her tiptoes and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips, pulling me along with her. I laughed and tried to break free of her hold, but she only
tightened her grip. "Stop trying to escape, Swan! You're stuck with me!"
"And me!" Rose linked her arm through my free one and rested her head against my shoulder. "A drunken ride home in a taxi! How fucking Harvard is this shit?"
"TAXI!" Alice screamed, finally letting go of my waist and twirling around on the curb. Jasper reached out and caught her just as she was about to twirl into the street. A cab pulled up and
the boys said their goodnights.
"Can I see you tomorrow?" I whispered to Edward. He grinned and nodded.
"Absolutely."
"I'm just a wee bit drunk right now," I admitted, holding up my hand and trying to show him what a wee bit was. "I'll text you in the morning with plans."
"Try not to vom in the taxi."
"Try not to fuck your speech up tomorrow!" Both hands flew to cover my mouth when I realized what I'd said. My verbal filter had dissolved several drinks earlier.
Edward just shook his head and laughed. "Go home and sleep, Swan. We'll talk mañana."
"Who has a banana?" Alice called from inside the taxi. Rose nudged me into the car and slammed the door shut behind her.
"You are never drinking with us again, Erickson. This always fucking happens!"
"If I had a banana for every time you said something like that-" Rose reached across me and clamped her hand over Alice's mouth before she could continue.
"I don't even want to know where she was going with that," Rose whispered. I smiled and tipped my head back against the seat.
"Have I told you both how much I love you?"
"Awwww!" Alice wrestled free of Rose and threw her arms around my neck, pulling me toward her and planting a bit, sloppy kiss on the side of my eyelid. "I love you too, Jelly Bellie!"
"Thanks for the face washing, munchkin." I pulled away and blew a raspberry in her face. She just giggled harder.
"Just like Harvard," Rose muttered with a smile. I leaned my head against her shoulder and sighed in happiness.
It wouldn't matter how old we were, whether one of us, all of us, or none of us had boyfriends, or what point in life we were at; these girls would always be my favorite accessories.
Edward's POV
The holidays were a time of year that I both loved and hated.
I loved the décor throughout the city, I loved spending time with my family, and I loved getting a few extra days off from work. I also loved receiving gifts, even though I'd long ago passed
the age when they went from being entertaining to practical.
On the other hand, I hated the crowds. Getting around the city could already be difficult enough, but when the mass of holiday shoppers and out-of-towners got added to the mix, it made
things damn near impossible. I also hated having to actually come up with ideas for gifts to give, because there were people out there like my mother who refused to take a gift card
because it was "too boring."
This year, the arrival of Christmas meant I was one week closer to embarking on my book tour. In addition to my usual love-hate feelings for the holiday itself, I was also feeling an
overwhelming sense of excitement that only grew stronger with each day that passed. Of course my excitement was accompanied by a sense of nervousness because I'd be spending six
straight weeks with Bella by my side.
Since Emmett's surprise party, Bella and I had gone on three dates. I planned the first two, wanting to show her that I was capable of being thoughtful and to make up for my previous
behavior. I had Jasper talk to Alice, who was more than willing to provide him with some much-needed information about Bella. This information turned out to be extremely helpful,
especially when it came to planning our "second first dates," as I liked to refer to them. I took her to see Chicago on our first night out, because it was her favorite Broadway show. On our
second date I took her to an art gallery opening in SoHo, which she'd apparently been begging the girls to accompany her to for weeks.
Bella planned our third and most recent date, which consisted of going ice-skating at the Rockefeller rink and out for hot chocolate after. I spent more time sliding around the ice on my ass
than I did skating, but the walk home made up for it. Bella told me some of the things she wanted to do during her down time on the book tour, and when we got to her apartment she let
me steal a kiss, tongue and all. I still hadn't been invited back into her bed, and I didn't dare move to invite her into mine, but I was okay with that. She'd grown on me, and her consistent
company continued to be a welcome break from my normal routine.
Emmett was quick to point out that sooner or later Bella and I would need to have a discussion about what direction we wanted to see things go in. It had been so long since I'd gotten into
a relationship that I had no idea what I was doing or how to even start that type of a conversation. Jasper told me not to worry so much, and that when the time was right the words would
just come.
Emmett was also quick to remind me that he knew about the initial bet, and if I did anything to hurt Bella or to pull away from her again if things got serious, he would "beat my pretty boy
ass" and tell Rosalie. He was still convinced there were some ulterior motives behind my spending time with Bella, even though both Jasper and I had told him the bet was a done deal. I
kindly pointed out that Rose would likely serve his balls up on a platter next to mine if she knew he had knowledge of the bet this entire time and didn't say something. That effectively put
a stop to his "I'll tell Rose" threats. It did nothing to ease his worry about my intentions, however.
"Edward! Can you please get the door?" The sound of my mother's voice combined with the incessant ringing of the doorbell interrupted my stream of thought. I jumped up from my spot at
the dining room table and jogged to the foyer.
"Merry Christmas!" Jasper shoved a foil-covered casserole dish into my open hands and smiled.
Charlotte scooted past her son and under my arm. "I was going to give you another sixty seconds before I had Peter kick the door down!"
"Edward was too busy daydreaming to bother answering the door." My mom winked at Charlotte and took her coat.
"Daydreaming about Bella?" Charlotte teased. The moms had been on my ass about Bella ever since I kissed her at the book release party. Looking back I probably shouldn't have done it in
such a public place, because as soon as the damn Journal reporter let the cat out of the bag, the trash rags picked up on it and the rumors started. I was just so fucking excited at the time
that I couldn't resist.
"Why Edward, I do believe you're blushing!" Carlisle stopped in the doorway and smirked.
"He's been doing that an awful lot lately," Jasper remarked.
"Fuck you, Whitlock," I hissed. My mother shot me a disapproving look and shook her head.
"Language, Edward. I know you're not twelve anymore, but it's Christmas."
"Is anyone going to help me bring the rest of this stuff in?" Peter called out. My dad made a beeline for the door, hitting both Jasper and I on the back of the head as he walked by.
"Think we can get him to admit to his feelings before the end of the year? It's less than a week away!" I heard Charlotte say to my mom. I rolled my eyes and cursed silently while the two
of them giggled.
"This is going to be a long day," I muttered. Jasper chuckled and patted my shoulder.
"Give them a few details about your last three dates and they'll happy."
I shook my head. "No way. I don't want to be the topic of Christmas."
"You already are the topic of Christmas – and the wine hasn't even been poured yet!"
"Boys, boys, boys." Peter dropped the bags he was carrying and put his arms around our shoulders, leaning us all in so our heads were touching. "Haven't you learned anything about your
mothers in the past thirty-one years?"
Jasper and I looked at him quizzically.
"If you let them think they stumbled upon some major social discovery they'll be satisfied." I stared blankly at Peter and he continued. "All your friends know you and Bella have been going
out, right? Well, the moms don't need to know that. One of them is bound to bring it up again at dinner, so just fess up to it, pretend that it's new news to all, and it'll give them something
to keep occupied with for the rest of the day. Details aren't even necessary."
My dad, who was standing a few feet away listening, burst out laughing. He picked up the bags that Peter had dropped and smirked. "Peter's right. Your mothers may be two educated,
well-respected women, but it doesn't take much to satisfy their curiosity."
I thought about this as I helped Jasper finish setting the table. I'd gone so long without a girlfriend that I forgot what dealing with Esme's interrogation tactics was like. Perhaps I should give
Peter's advice a try and see where it takes me?
Two hours later we were done with dinner and started opening gifts. Two bottles of wine were down and Charlotte had just cracked open the third. I could tell something was up before my
mom even spoke.
"You know, there's one gift I've wanted for years but have yet to find under the tree."
"What gift is that honey?" My dad asked.
My mom looked at me and smiled. "A daughter-in-law and some grandchildren to spoil rotten."
"We're in the same boat, Es, except I think Jasper just might have found that daughter-in-law in Alice." Charlotte handed Esme a glass of wine and took a large sip from her own.
"Mom, please-" I started, but Esme held her hand up and silenced me.
"No 'mom, please' on Christmas, Edward!" She cocked her head to the side and fixed me with one of her infamous stares. "Jasper is getting it together. Why can't you?"
"Because, mom, I'm not Jasper." I ran my hand through my hair and tugged nervously at the ribbon on the gift that sat in my lap. "Look, Bella is great, but I need to do things at my own
pace. Right now I have so much going on with the book tour and with work that I don't have time for anything but a date here and there."
"A ha!" Charlotte almost dropped her wine. "So you two are dating! Did you hear that Esme? Your son has been taking one – and I repeat, one – woman out on multiple dates!"
Thanks, Charlotte.
Ok, so maybe I told a little white lie. Yes I was busy, but I was fairly certain I could clear my schedule to make time for Bella if she asked me to.
"Edward!" My mom was beaming at me. Our dads, on the other hand, were suppressing their laughter. "Does anybody else know about this?"
I shook my head and played along. "Nope, just the people in this room."
"Did you hear that, Char?" Esme turned to her best friend and gave her a fist bump. "We were the first to know about something!"
"Let's just hope it's the same with the wedding," Charlotte joked. I rolled my eyes and drained the rest of my brandy, getting up and heading to the kitchen for a refill. Jasper followed me.
"For the record, Alice and I are nowhere near 'having it together'." Jasper leaned against the counter next to me and crossed his arms over his chest.
"When you do reach that point, you know I'll be more than happy for you," I said, filling my glass to the rim with the amber colored liquid. "I've just never been the marrying kind."
Jasper shrugged. "Who knows if you are? You haven't exactly given yourself the opportunity to find out."
I ran my finger around the rim of my glass and looked over at my best friend. "That's where you're wrong, my friend. I had the opportunity – then Biers decided to come along and take it
for himself."
Jasper rolled his eyes. "Having a bad experience with one woman doesn't mean you're destined to have bad experiences with the rest that come along."
"True, but being non-committal is a hell of a lot easier on my heart."
"So instead of allowing yourself to have a bad experience, you just go around and dish the bad experiences out to women across the city?"
Jasper's words took me by surprise. I'd never looked at my behavior in that light before. Not only was I a jackass, but I was also a hypocrite.
Jasper continued. "It's so cliché, but everything in life happens for a reason, Edward. Obviously Jessica was meant to be Mrs. Biers and not Mrs. Cullen."
"Why is my happiness – and my behavior – such a concern to everyone all of a sudden? Nobody had anything to say in the eight years leading up to now."
"Because Bella wasn't around in the eight years leading up to now."
"And your point is what, exactly?" I was damn good at being stubborn. In fact, I'd perfected the art of it long ago.
"My point is that in eight years you haven't met a woman who managed to put a smile on your face like Bella does," Jasper said, pushing himself off the counter. "There's nothing wrong
with being apprehensive, Edward. I think we've all been there at one point in time or another. But it's not fair to deny yourself the happiness you deserve."
With that, Jasper turned and joined our parents in the living room. I took another large sip of my brandy and set the glass down on the counter gently. I closed my eyes, took a deep
breath, and pinched the bridge of my nose.
Bella did make me smile. Just thinking about how she made me smile put an actual smile on my face.
Jasper's advice from last week hummed in my ear. "When the time is right, the words will come."
Who knew if the time would ever be exactly "right"? I sure as hell didn't. In fact, previous experience had proven to me that some of the best things in life happen when the timing is totally
fucking wrong.
Like Columbia, for instance. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and steeled myself against the lingering pain that would always be attached to this memory.
I was so proud of my admission to an Ivy League MBA program. I'd been dreaming of it since the middle of my junior year of undergrad, and to see it evolve from a mere dream into a
reality was an amazing experience. It was one of the biggest accomplishments under my belt at the time.
Unfortunately for me, Columbia turned out to be a big fucking accomplishment that clashed with everything else in my life. I opted to spend the summer before graduate school interning at
Jpmorgan Chase. My father helped me secure the internship and I knew it would give me experience that would help me not only in my future career, but at Columbia as well.
What I never expected was for the path I chose to take to pave the road that would eventually lead to the arrival of Mrs. Riley goddamn Biers.
In other words, Columbia was one of the best things to happen to me, at the absolute worst possible time.
So, this whole "when the time is right" bullshit wasn't something I bought into.
Even if I did buy into it, the "right time" for Bella and I definitely wasn't right now. The pieces that could eventually form our puzzle were there, but the edges didn't fit together quite right
just yet.
The words, on the other hand, were dangling from the tip of my tongue, threatening to fall from my lips any day.
And even though I couldn't do anything to make the timing right, I knew I needed to do whatever it took to find the right words to say when the time came.
I also knew that when – not if – they fell from my lips, there would be no turning back.
I was good with numbers. Words … not so much.
I sighed in frustration and fisted my hair in my hands.
This was yet another thing I hated about the holidays; no matter how hard I tried to run from them, the memories this time of year dredged up never seemed to go away.
Bella's POV
Forks had barely changed since I left eleven years earlier.
There was a McDonalds in town now, the Thriftway had been remodeled, and a new bed and breakfast had popped up on the outskirts of the small city. Other than that the scenery was the
same.
I stretched my legs out in front of me and leaned back against the arm of the loveseat. My dad was on the couch napping and my mom was in the kitchen dishing up our snow pudding.
Grandma Swan had made the dessert every year for Christmas. It was my favorite, and when she passed away, Renee took it upon herself to perfect the recipe so the tradition could carry
on.
I slipped my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through my texts.
Merry Christmas, Iz! Mom and Bree send their love – and I send big, squishy hugs and wet, sloppy kisses! xoxo – R.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Maybe when you get back you'll find Edward wearing nothing but a bow under your tree! Well ... Edward's best asset will have nothing but a bow on it! ILY!
;) – M.
Merry Christmas, hun! Give Renee and Charlie a hug for me! xoxo – A.
The last one made my heart skip a few extra beats.
Merry Christmas, Bella. The city lost a bit of its sparkle when you flew out on Friday. Call me when you land. – E.
The text had come through several hours earlier. I checked the time. It was now a little after eleven in New York. I didn't know if Edward had to work tomorrow, or if he was still up, but I
took a chance and punched in my reply.
Merry Christmas to you too! Hopefully the moms weren't too wild today. ;) – B.
It didn't take more than a few minutes for me to get a response.
When aren't the moms wild? They were in especially rare form today, but we all made it out unscathed. How is Washington? – E.
The same as it always is. I'm pretty sure this state exists solely to remind me why I went East. But, it was nice seeing my parents. – B.
Ha! Well, the Evergreen State can't be all that bad - after all, you came out of it. ;) – E.
I giggled to myself and blushed. Perhaps he'd had a few too many beers or something. Whatever it was, his cheesy mood was nice.
"Who's that?" Renee asked, setting our dessert down on the coffee table and nudging my calf with her toe. I pulled my legs back so she could sit, then stretched them out again and rested
them on her lap.
"Nobody," I answered, sending one last message to Edward.
How much did you have to drink at Christmas dinner? Haha, j/k. I need to scoot – dessert with my mom. I'll call you when I land. – B.
Renee snatched the phone from my hands and scrolled through our short chat. I was fairly certain my cheeks reddened tenfold. She grinned knowingly and tossed the phone in my lap.
"When was the last time a man made you smile like that, Bell?" Renee asked. I reached over and grabbed the two bowls from the coffee table, handing one to my mom and balancing the
other on the back of the couch. I placed a spoonful of the snow pudding in my mouth and closed my eyes, savoring the taste while I thought about how to answer her question.
"Smile like what?"
Renee tapped the tip of my nose with her spoon. "You've got a grin on your face that's reminiscent of the ones you used to wear on the last day of school when you were little."
"I don't know, Ben probably?" I'd gone out with guys after Ben left Manhattan, but he was the last real relationship I'd been in. "Why are you asking me this?"
"Because, Isabella, you're not getting any younger." Renee certainly had a way with words. "I'm not trying to pressure you, because lord only knows I sometimes wish I'd of waited to settle
down too, but you'll be thirty next year sweetheart."
"Yes, mom, I'll be thirty. That's old news."
"You know what I mean. I worry about you, Bell; living all alone in a big city like New York. I just wish you had someone to make you grin like a foolish kid every day."
"I do, mom – his name is Mike Newton." I winked and polished off the rest of my dessert. Charlie was starting to stir on the couch and the last thing I wanted was to end Christmas by
getting into a relationship conversation with him.
My mom must have caught the hint, because she stood up and grabbed my empty bowl. "Don't think you're out of hot seat! We've still got three whole days to continue this conversation."
"Oh joy," I muttered.
"What conversation?" my dad asked.
"Just girl talk, Charlie," Renee shouted from the kitchen. My dad yawned and rolled his eyes.
"Well in that case, please spare me."
I chuckled and stood up. "I think I'm going to call it a night. It's not very often that I get to read for pleasure, and it just so happens I brought a book with me."
"Have fun reading," Renee called after me. I resisted the urge to flip the bird over my shoulder, and instead ascended the staircase that led to the upper level of the house. My parents
hadn't changed my room since I moved. There were still posters of NSYNC on the walls and Sweet Valley High books lining the dusty shelves of my bookcase. In a way it was comforting
and nostalgic. Mostly it just made me want to puke.
I slipped into my pajamas and pulled my hair back before crawling into bed. I went to plug my phone in and found one last text message from Edward.
Sweet dreams, oh sparkly one. – E.
I smiled and picked up my copy of East of Eden from the night table. I managed to read two new chapters before giving in to temptation and closing my eyes.
Edward visited me in my dreams that night, like he sometimes did.
As usual, he was naked.
This time, I was a prostitute.
And Edward was a farmer with a very thick, very sexy Irish accent.
Chapter 15 – Home for the Holidays
Bella's POV
It had been a little over two weeks since Edward's book release party and my head hadn't stopped spinning.
The article in The Journal sent some people into a frenzy, and not just because of the news of the book tour. A single sentence about his "rush to give his 'publicist', Bella Swan, a kiss of
thanks" had left people focused not only on Edward's book, but also on our "budding romance," as the trash rags referred to it.
Everything I'd hoped wouldn't happen was happening and I felt like there wasn't much I could do to stop it.
"Ms. Swan?" The Barnes and Noble employee greeted me politely. "We're ready for Mr. Cullen."
"Great! Edward – er, Mr. Cullen – should be here any minute." The employee gave me a tight-lipped smile and pivoted away, heading back in the direction of the line that had started to
form about an hour earlier.
I slipped my phone out of my pocket and punched a quick text in.
Where are you? – B.
"I'm right here, oh impatient one," Edward drawled, stopping beside me to straighten his tie. I crossed my arms over my chest and eyed him with irritation.
He looked amazing, as usual. Nice suit, nice shoes, gorgeous grin. His hair was tousled enough that it looked sexy, not messy, and his green eyes were ablaze with energy.
"I'm so glad you decided to put in an appearance at your first book signing," I muttered, reaching out to pull a piece of lint from his suit coat. He raised his hand and covered mine with it,
squeezing my fingers gently.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I wish I had a creative excuse to give you, but I don't. My time management skills haven't gotten any better with age."
"C'mon, they're waiting for you." I pulled my hand away and stepped aside, allowing him to walk in front of me. The Barnes and Noble employee gave a brief introduction to both Edward
and his book and then the signing started.
I stood several feet behind Edward and off to the left. I'd seen other publicists play this role in the past, but I'd never done it myself up until now. Of course these other publicists also
worked with A-List authors who drew in massive crowds and had fans that didn't understand how to behave appropriately. Needless to say, there wasn't too much excitement during this
signing.
Unless you counted Laurent and Mike's antics as excitement, that is.
"Edward Cullen! The stars finally aligned and put me in your presence!" Mike gushed, pushing his already signed copy of Edward's book across the table.
Edward laughed and opened the book to the title page, frowning in confusion. "This is already signed."
"Of course it is, genius. It's from the release party." Laurent pushed past the employee that was monitoring the line and bumped Mike out of his way, placing his book on the table as well.
"But we want them personalized."
"I see," Edward grabbed Mike's book and tapped his pen against his chin. "What to write…"
"To Mike, the best looking, most well-endowed man in Manhattan."
Laurent rolled eyes his and scoffed. "More like the most delusional, hot mess in the Empire State."
"Gentlemen, we have a whole line of people to get through. Could you please be more concise so Mr. Cullen can sign your books?" The employee assisting Edward was becoming impatient.
"Excuse me? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" Mike puffed his chest out and pushed his nose up in the air. Edward bit back a laugh and glanced helplessly at me.
I thought for a moment before stepping forward and whispering something to him. A grin spread across his face, and he pulled Mike's book toward him, scribbling a short message inside
and handing it back. He did the same thing to Laurent's book and then shooed them on with an exaggerated flick of his wrist.
"OH MY STARS!" Laurent's shriek echoed throughout the store. I snorted out a laugh, surprising myself, and covered my mouth quickly. Edward simply winked at me and greeted the woman
who had just approached the table.
Time seemed to fly and before long the last patron had come through the line and the store employees were busy taking down the table and moving the display. Edward chatted with the
store manager while I phoned Sam. Within twenty minutes we were seated in the back of the Town Car, on our way to meet our friends for drinks.
"How did I do?" Edward asked, reminding me of a school-aged kid asking about his first big homework assignment. I smiled and reached over to squeeze his forearm.
"Perfect," I answered honestly. "You're a natural at this. If I didn't know you I would never have guessed that was your first signing."
His smile widened and he did a mini fist pump. "That was such an amazing experience, Bella. I mean, it's one thing to get together and celebrate your book's release with family and
friends, but it's a whole new feeling having people come out just to meet you because you wrote something that resonated with them."
The excitement he felt was radiating off him, leaving me feeling hopelessly excited too. His eyes were sparkling, his skin was practically glowing, and it took every ounce of strength I had
to keep myself on the seat and out of his lap.
"Tomorrow is going to be insane," he continued. "In a good way, of course."
"You aren't nervous?"
He raked a hand through his hair and chuckled. "I'm scared shitless," he admitted. "But at this moment, my excitement from tonight is overshadowing everything else."
"Well, then by all means, let the excitement continue!" Sam pulled the car to a stop and we both got out. I held the door to the pub open and gestured for Edward to enter. "Hot shot book
authors first."
We found our friends squeezed around a much-too-small table in the very back corner of the place. It was insanely busy, an Irish punk rock band was belting out music so loud that we had
to shout to hear one another, and it seemed like forever before the waitress made it over to take our drink order.
"We saved you a seat!" Mike yelled at Edward, patting the empty chair between him and Laurent.
"I think I'll sit by Bella, thanks," Edward said. I laughed and shook my head, placing my hands flat against his back and pushing him towards the open space.
"I think you owe it to these two to sit there," I said, trying my best to keep a blank expression. "After all, they took the time to save this seat for you."
"Yeah, Cullen. Don't be a puss. It's not like our gayness spreads through the air," Laurent quipped.
"Alright, gentlemen, whatever you want." Edward slid the chair out and sat down. Mike looked giddy as I rounded the table and took the other open spot between Alice and Rose.
"How was the rest of the signing?" Laurent asked.
"Not nearly as entertaining as when you two were there."
"Then you shouldn't have let that disgusting, bossy, pimple faced man shoo us out so quick!" Mike looked hurt.
"Yeah, Cullen." Laurent scowled. "You could have at least bought us an extra five minutes to do some public swooning before giving us the boot."
Edward held his hands up in defeat. "What can I say? I don't make the rules."
Mike took a sip of his cosmo and scoffed. "Perhaps we need to find someone to better enforce the rules than that hot mess over there." He stuck one finger out and pointed in my direction.
"How did I get dragged into this?"
"You're the publicist, honey. Isn't it your job to ensure that your client gets adequate time with his fans?"
"Oh, please, Newton. Are you even going to read the fucking book?" Rose interjected.
"Probably not, but I will add it to my coffee table collection. I'm bound to have at least one guest that's curious about finance."
"What were you swooning over anyway?" Alice piped up.
"We got our books personalized." Laurent reached beneath the table and produced his copy of Edward's book. He handed it to Alice, who flipped it open and cleared her throat.
"To Laurent," she said in her best imitation of Edward's voice. "Put your money where your mouth is and your mouth where Mike's money maker is." Alice barely got the last word out
before she started laughing.
"Wow." Emmett's eyes were wide but amusement was evident in his features. "That'll be something to show the grandkids someday."
Laurent choked on his beer. "Grandkids? Oh, honey, I'd eat pussy before I had any kind of kids." This remark caused another round of laughter.
Alice turned her attention to Mike. "What does your personalization say?"
"Oh, it's nothing special," Mike answered quickly, waving his hand in the air dismissively. "I'm sure Edward wants to talk more about the signing."
"Oh no, you're not getting off the hook that quick." Alice held her hand out and snapped her fingers. "Hand it over, Newton. Don't make me have to go looking."
Mike rolled his eyes and let out a loud, disgusted sigh. He reached beneath the table and produced his own book, reluctantly giving it to Alice.
"To Mike," Alice read. "Some choose to invest in stocks and bonds; you should invest in a dom."
Rose and I immediately burst into laughter.
"It's not funny!" He snatched the book from Alice and stuffed it under his thigh. "As much as you three ladies love to dredge up the past, there are some of us who would be much happier if
it was left there."
"Consider this payback for your 'Great Red Carpet Disaster of 2009' bullshit." I used my fingers to make air quotes.
"You can't even compare the two, sweetie. That fiasco was entirely your doing."
"The great what?" Jasper looked back and forth between Mike and I with a confused expression.
"You haven't told any of them this story yet?" Mike rubbed his palms together excitedly. I didn't even bother to protest because I knew it was no use. "We were all at fashion week for
Rose's show and Bella here just happened to be walking the red carpet behind none other than Josh Duhamel. Everything was fine until she stepped down funny and broke the heel off her
shoe, which sent her flying into him and that Fergalicious wife of his. They all three ended up in a pile on the ground."
Emmett whooped with laughter. "How did we not see pictures of this all over the place?"
"Oh, trust me, the pictures are there," I answered. As embarrassing as it was, I couldn't help but laugh myself at the memory. "If you do some good Googling you'll find them."
"After that our darling Washington woman started wearing flats to every event, regardless of how ridiculous she looked." Mike reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "You know I
love you, right?"
"Yeah, and right now you better thank your lucky stars that the feeling is mutual," I teased. "I'm sure Laurent would love to hear some dirt on you."
"I can beat the dirt out of him, Bella. What I want to hear about is Edward's speech tomorrow and why none of us get to go!" Laurent waved his empty beer bottle in the air in an attempt to
get the attention of our waitress.
"They invited me at the last minute and all the tickets were gone already," Edward explained.
"Tickets? Who the fuck needs a ticket to get into a graduation?"
"It was like that back when we graduated too," Jasper said with a shrug.
"Well, make sure you tell the dean or whoever that your fan club is very disappointed," Laurent whined, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. Edward just laughed and tipped his
beer back.
Three hours and too many drinks later we were all feeling happy, with the exception of Edward who had elected to stay mostly sober.
"C'mon, Swan!" Alice slung her arm around my waist and pulled me close to her as we made our way outside. "You can share a cab with me!"
"I thought you were coming home with me?" Jasper tried to get Alice into her coat but his attempts were unsuccessful.
"I'll come see you tomorrow, Jazz." She stood on her tiptoes and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips, pulling me along with her. I laughed and tried to break free of her hold, but she only
tightened her grip. "Stop trying to escape, Swan! You're stuck with me!"
"And me!" Rose linked her arm through my free one and rested her head against my shoulder. "A drunken ride home in a taxi! How fucking Harvard is this shit?"
"TAXI!" Alice screamed, finally letting go of my waist and twirling around on the curb. Jasper reached out and caught her just as she was about to twirl into the street. A cab pulled up and
the boys said their goodnights.
"Can I see you tomorrow?" I whispered to Edward. He grinned and nodded.
"Absolutely."
"I'm just a wee bit drunk right now," I admitted, holding up my hand and trying to show him what a wee bit was. "I'll text you in the morning with plans."
"Try not to vom in the taxi."
"Try not to fuck your speech up tomorrow!" Both hands flew to cover my mouth when I realized what I'd said. My verbal filter had dissolved several drinks earlier.
Edward just shook his head and laughed. "Go home and sleep, Swan. We'll talk mañana."
"Who has a banana?" Alice called from inside the taxi. Rose nudged me into the car and slammed the door shut behind her.
"You are never drinking with us again, Erickson. This always fucking happens!"
"If I had a banana for every time you said something like that-" Rose reached across me and clamped her hand over Alice's mouth before she could continue.
"I don't even want to know where she was going with that," Rose whispered. I smiled and tipped my head back against the seat.
"Have I told you both how much I love you?"
"Awwww!" Alice wrestled free of Rose and threw her arms around my neck, pulling me toward her and planting a bit, sloppy kiss on the side of my eyelid. "I love you too, Jelly Bellie!"
"Thanks for the face washing, munchkin." I pulled away and blew a raspberry in her face. She just giggled harder.
"Just like Harvard," Rose muttered with a smile. I leaned my head against her shoulder and sighed in happiness.
It wouldn't matter how old we were, whether one of us, all of us, or none of us had boyfriends, or what point in life we were at; these girls would always be my favorite accessories.
Edward's POV
The holidays were a time of year that I both loved and hated.
I loved the décor throughout the city, I loved spending time with my family, and I loved getting a few extra days off from work. I also loved receiving gifts, even though I'd long ago passed
the age when they went from being entertaining to practical.
On the other hand, I hated the crowds. Getting around the city could already be difficult enough, but when the mass of holiday shoppers and out-of-towners got added to the mix, it made
things damn near impossible. I also hated having to actually come up with ideas for gifts to give, because there were people out there like my mother who refused to take a gift card
because it was "too boring."
This year, the arrival of Christmas meant I was one week closer to embarking on my book tour. In addition to my usual love-hate feelings for the holiday itself, I was also feeling an
overwhelming sense of excitement that only grew stronger with each day that passed. Of course my excitement was accompanied by a sense of nervousness because I'd be spending six
straight weeks with Bella by my side.
Since Emmett's surprise party, Bella and I had gone on three dates. I planned the first two, wanting to show her that I was capable of being thoughtful and to make up for my previous
behavior. I had Jasper talk to Alice, who was more than willing to provide him with some much-needed information about Bella. This information turned out to be extremely helpful,
especially when it came to planning our "second first dates," as I liked to refer to them. I took her to see Chicago on our first night out, because it was her favorite Broadway show. On our
second date I took her to an art gallery opening in SoHo, which she'd apparently been begging the girls to accompany her to for weeks.
Bella planned our third and most recent date, which consisted of going ice-skating at the Rockefeller rink and out for hot chocolate after. I spent more time sliding around the ice on my ass
than I did skating, but the walk home made up for it. Bella told me some of the things she wanted to do during her down time on the book tour, and when we got to her apartment she let
me steal a kiss, tongue and all. I still hadn't been invited back into her bed, and I didn't dare move to invite her into mine, but I was okay with that. She'd grown on me, and her consistent
company continued to be a welcome break from my normal routine.
Emmett was quick to point out that sooner or later Bella and I would need to have a discussion about what direction we wanted to see things go in. It had been so long since I'd gotten into
a relationship that I had no idea what I was doing or how to even start that type of a conversation. Jasper told me not to worry so much, and that when the time was right the words would
just come.
Emmett was also quick to remind me that he knew about the initial bet, and if I did anything to hurt Bella or to pull away from her again if things got serious, he would "beat my pretty boy
ass" and tell Rosalie. He was still convinced there were some ulterior motives behind my spending time with Bella, even though both Jasper and I had told him the bet was a done deal. I
kindly pointed out that Rose would likely serve his balls up on a platter next to mine if she knew he had knowledge of the bet this entire time and didn't say something. That effectively put
a stop to his "I'll tell Rose" threats. It did nothing to ease his worry about my intentions, however.
"Edward! Can you please get the door?" The sound of my mother's voice combined with the incessant ringing of the doorbell interrupted my stream of thought. I jumped up from my spot at
the dining room table and jogged to the foyer.
"Merry Christmas!" Jasper shoved a foil-covered casserole dish into my open hands and smiled.
Charlotte scooted past her son and under my arm. "I was going to give you another sixty seconds before I had Peter kick the door down!"
"Edward was too busy daydreaming to bother answering the door." My mom winked at Charlotte and took her coat.
"Daydreaming about Bella?" Charlotte teased. The moms had been on my ass about Bella ever since I kissed her at the book release party. Looking back I probably shouldn't have done it in
such a public place, because as soon as the damn Journal reporter let the cat out of the bag, the trash rags picked up on it and the rumors started. I was just so fucking excited at the time
that I couldn't resist.
"Why Edward, I do believe you're blushing!" Carlisle stopped in the doorway and smirked.
"He's been doing that an awful lot lately," Jasper remarked.
"Fuck you, Whitlock," I hissed. My mother shot me a disapproving look and shook her head.
"Language, Edward. I know you're not twelve anymore, but it's Christmas."
"Is anyone going to help me bring the rest of this stuff in?" Peter called out. My dad made a beeline for the door, hitting both Jasper and I on the back of the head as he walked by.
"Think we can get him to admit to his feelings before the end of the year? It's less than a week away!" I heard Charlotte say to my mom. I rolled my eyes and cursed silently while the two
of them giggled.
"This is going to be a long day," I muttered. Jasper chuckled and patted my shoulder.
"Give them a few details about your last three dates and they'll happy."
I shook my head. "No way. I don't want to be the topic of Christmas."
"You already are the topic of Christmas – and the wine hasn't even been poured yet!"
"Boys, boys, boys." Peter dropped the bags he was carrying and put his arms around our shoulders, leaning us all in so our heads were touching. "Haven't you learned anything about your
mothers in the past thirty-one years?"
Jasper and I looked at him quizzically.
"If you let them think they stumbled upon some major social discovery they'll be satisfied." I stared blankly at Peter and he continued. "All your friends know you and Bella have been going
out, right? Well, the moms don't need to know that. One of them is bound to bring it up again at dinner, so just fess up to it, pretend that it's new news to all, and it'll give them something
to keep occupied with for the rest of the day. Details aren't even necessary."
My dad, who was standing a few feet away listening, burst out laughing. He picked up the bags that Peter had dropped and smirked. "Peter's right. Your mothers may be two educated,
well-respected women, but it doesn't take much to satisfy their curiosity."
I thought about this as I helped Jasper finish setting the table. I'd gone so long without a girlfriend that I forgot what dealing with Esme's interrogation tactics was like. Perhaps I should give
Peter's advice a try and see where it takes me?
Two hours later we were done with dinner and started opening gifts. Two bottles of wine were down and Charlotte had just cracked open the third. I could tell something was up before my
mom even spoke.
"You know, there's one gift I've wanted for years but have yet to find under the tree."
"What gift is that honey?" My dad asked.
My mom looked at me and smiled. "A daughter-in-law and some grandchildren to spoil rotten."
"We're in the same boat, Es, except I think Jasper just might have found that daughter-in-law in Alice." Charlotte handed Esme a glass of wine and took a large sip from her own.
"Mom, please-" I started, but Esme held her hand up and silenced me.
"No 'mom, please' on Christmas, Edward!" She cocked her head to the side and fixed me with one of her infamous stares. "Jasper is getting it together. Why can't you?"
"Because, mom, I'm not Jasper." I ran my hand through my hair and tugged nervously at the ribbon on the gift that sat in my lap. "Look, Bella is great, but I need to do things at my own
pace. Right now I have so much going on with the book tour and with work that I don't have time for anything but a date here and there."
"A ha!" Charlotte almost dropped her wine. "So you two are dating! Did you hear that Esme? Your son has been taking one – and I repeat, one – woman out on multiple dates!"
Thanks, Charlotte.
Ok, so maybe I told a little white lie. Yes I was busy, but I was fairly certain I could clear my schedule to make time for Bella if she asked me to.
"Edward!" My mom was beaming at me. Our dads, on the other hand, were suppressing their laughter. "Does anybody else know about this?"
I shook my head and played along. "Nope, just the people in this room."
"Did you hear that, Char?" Esme turned to her best friend and gave her a fist bump. "We were the first to know about something!"
"Let's just hope it's the same with the wedding," Charlotte joked. I rolled my eyes and drained the rest of my brandy, getting up and heading to the kitchen for a refill. Jasper followed me.
"For the record, Alice and I are nowhere near 'having it together'." Jasper leaned against the counter next to me and crossed his arms over his chest.
"When you do reach that point, you know I'll be more than happy for you," I said, filling my glass to the rim with the amber colored liquid. "I've just never been the marrying kind."
Jasper shrugged. "Who knows if you are? You haven't exactly given yourself the opportunity to find out."
I ran my finger around the rim of my glass and looked over at my best friend. "That's where you're wrong, my friend. I had the opportunity – then Biers decided to come along and take it
for himself."
Jasper rolled his eyes. "Having a bad experience with one woman doesn't mean you're destined to have bad experiences with the rest that come along."
"True, but being non-committal is a hell of a lot easier on my heart."
"So instead of allowing yourself to have a bad experience, you just go around and dish the bad experiences out to women across the city?"
Jasper's words took me by surprise. I'd never looked at my behavior in that light before. Not only was I a jackass, but I was also a hypocrite.
Jasper continued. "It's so cliché, but everything in life happens for a reason, Edward. Obviously Jessica was meant to be Mrs. Biers and not Mrs. Cullen."
"Why is my happiness – and my behavior – such a concern to everyone all of a sudden? Nobody had anything to say in the eight years leading up to now."
"Because Bella wasn't around in the eight years leading up to now."
"And your point is what, exactly?" I was damn good at being stubborn. In fact, I'd perfected the art of it long ago.
"My point is that in eight years you haven't met a woman who managed to put a smile on your face like Bella does," Jasper said, pushing himself off the counter. "There's nothing wrong
with being apprehensive, Edward. I think we've all been there at one point in time or another. But it's not fair to deny yourself the happiness you deserve."
With that, Jasper turned and joined our parents in the living room. I took another large sip of my brandy and set the glass down on the counter gently. I closed my eyes, took a deep
breath, and pinched the bridge of my nose.
Bella did make me smile. Just thinking about how she made me smile put an actual smile on my face.
Jasper's advice from last week hummed in my ear. "When the time is right, the words will come."
Who knew if the time would ever be exactly "right"? I sure as hell didn't. In fact, previous experience had proven to me that some of the best things in life happen when the timing is totally
fucking wrong.
Like Columbia, for instance. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and steeled myself against the lingering pain that would always be attached to this memory.
I was so proud of my admission to an Ivy League MBA program. I'd been dreaming of it since the middle of my junior year of undergrad, and to see it evolve from a mere dream into a
reality was an amazing experience. It was one of the biggest accomplishments under my belt at the time.
Unfortunately for me, Columbia turned out to be a big fucking accomplishment that clashed with everything else in my life. I opted to spend the summer before graduate school interning at
Jpmorgan Chase. My father helped me secure the internship and I knew it would give me experience that would help me not only in my future career, but at Columbia as well.
What I never expected was for the path I chose to take to pave the road that would eventually lead to the arrival of Mrs. Riley goddamn Biers.
In other words, Columbia was one of the best things to happen to me, at the absolute worst possible time.
So, this whole "when the time is right" bullshit wasn't something I bought into.
Even if I did buy into it, the "right time" for Bella and I definitely wasn't right now. The pieces that could eventually form our puzzle were there, but the edges didn't fit together quite right
just yet.
The words, on the other hand, were dangling from the tip of my tongue, threatening to fall from my lips any day.
And even though I couldn't do anything to make the timing right, I knew I needed to do whatever it took to find the right words to say when the time came.
I also knew that when – not if – they fell from my lips, there would be no turning back.
I was good with numbers. Words … not so much.
I sighed in frustration and fisted my hair in my hands.
This was yet another thing I hated about the holidays; no matter how hard I tried to run from them, the memories this time of year dredged up never seemed to go away.
Bella's POV
Forks had barely changed since I left eleven years earlier.
There was a McDonalds in town now, the Thriftway had been remodeled, and a new bed and breakfast had popped up on the outskirts of the small city. Other than that the scenery was the
same.
I stretched my legs out in front of me and leaned back against the arm of the loveseat. My dad was on the couch napping and my mom was in the kitchen dishing up our snow pudding.
Grandma Swan had made the dessert every year for Christmas. It was my favorite, and when she passed away, Renee took it upon herself to perfect the recipe so the tradition could carry
on.
I slipped my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through my texts.
Merry Christmas, Iz! Mom and Bree send their love – and I send big, squishy hugs and wet, sloppy kisses! xoxo – R.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Maybe when you get back you'll find Edward wearing nothing but a bow under your tree! Well ... Edward's best asset will have nothing but a bow on it! ILY!
;) – M.
Merry Christmas, hun! Give Renee and Charlie a hug for me! xoxo – A.
The last one made my heart skip a few extra beats.
Merry Christmas, Bella. The city lost a bit of its sparkle when you flew out on Friday. Call me when you land. – E.
The text had come through several hours earlier. I checked the time. It was now a little after eleven in New York. I didn't know if Edward had to work tomorrow, or if he was still up, but I
took a chance and punched in my reply.
Merry Christmas to you too! Hopefully the moms weren't too wild today. ;) – B.
It didn't take more than a few minutes for me to get a response.
When aren't the moms wild? They were in especially rare form today, but we all made it out unscathed. How is Washington? – E.
The same as it always is. I'm pretty sure this state exists solely to remind me why I went East. But, it was nice seeing my parents. – B.
Ha! Well, the Evergreen State can't be all that bad - after all, you came out of it. ;) – E.
I giggled to myself and blushed. Perhaps he'd had a few too many beers or something. Whatever it was, his cheesy mood was nice.
"Who's that?" Renee asked, setting our dessert down on the coffee table and nudging my calf with her toe. I pulled my legs back so she could sit, then stretched them out again and rested
them on her lap.
"Nobody," I answered, sending one last message to Edward.
How much did you have to drink at Christmas dinner? Haha, j/k. I need to scoot – dessert with my mom. I'll call you when I land. – B.
Renee snatched the phone from my hands and scrolled through our short chat. I was fairly certain my cheeks reddened tenfold. She grinned knowingly and tossed the phone in my lap.
"When was the last time a man made you smile like that, Bell?" Renee asked. I reached over and grabbed the two bowls from the coffee table, handing one to my mom and balancing the
other on the back of the couch. I placed a spoonful of the snow pudding in my mouth and closed my eyes, savoring the taste while I thought about how to answer her question.
"Smile like what?"
Renee tapped the tip of my nose with her spoon. "You've got a grin on your face that's reminiscent of the ones you used to wear on the last day of school when you were little."
"I don't know, Ben probably?" I'd gone out with guys after Ben left Manhattan, but he was the last real relationship I'd been in. "Why are you asking me this?"
"Because, Isabella, you're not getting any younger." Renee certainly had a way with words. "I'm not trying to pressure you, because lord only knows I sometimes wish I'd of waited to settle
down too, but you'll be thirty next year sweetheart."
"Yes, mom, I'll be thirty. That's old news."
"You know what I mean. I worry about you, Bell; living all alone in a big city like New York. I just wish you had someone to make you grin like a foolish kid every day."
"I do, mom – his name is Mike Newton." I winked and polished off the rest of my dessert. Charlie was starting to stir on the couch and the last thing I wanted was to end Christmas by
getting into a relationship conversation with him.
My mom must have caught the hint, because she stood up and grabbed my empty bowl. "Don't think you're out of hot seat! We've still got three whole days to continue this conversation."
"Oh joy," I muttered.
"What conversation?" my dad asked.
"Just girl talk, Charlie," Renee shouted from the kitchen. My dad yawned and rolled his eyes.
"Well in that case, please spare me."
I chuckled and stood up. "I think I'm going to call it a night. It's not very often that I get to read for pleasure, and it just so happens I brought a book with me."
"Have fun reading," Renee called after me. I resisted the urge to flip the bird over my shoulder, and instead ascended the staircase that led to the upper level of the house. My parents
hadn't changed my room since I moved. There were still posters of NSYNC on the walls and Sweet Valley High books lining the dusty shelves of my bookcase. In a way it was comforting
and nostalgic. Mostly it just made me want to puke.
I slipped into my pajamas and pulled my hair back before crawling into bed. I went to plug my phone in and found one last text message from Edward.
Sweet dreams, oh sparkly one. – E.
I smiled and picked up my copy of East of Eden from the night table. I managed to read two new chapters before giving in to temptation and closing my eyes.
Edward visited me in my dreams that night, like he sometimes did.
As usual, he was naked.
This time, I was a prostitute.
And Edward was a farmer with a very thick, very sexy Irish accent.
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