Endless Night: Chapter 3 - Jealousy

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CHAPTER 3 – JEALOUSY

By Friday I was ready for my new life in Seattle. Alice and I had gone shopping the day before. I now had all the proper attire for the Seattle climate, and a few party dresses at Alice's suggestion. Alice insisted on paying for the party dresses since they were her idea. I'd protested, but in the end she got her way. Edward had come by the night before to drop off my fake ID. And, by some whim of luck, Emmett had given me his old VW Jetta to use since he'd just gotten a new car.

Alice was starring at me curiously as I put some mascara on. "I'm rather impressed Bella. You didn't even need any help this time around!"

"I keep a bit of girlyness locked deep inside of me, contrary to popular belief." I capped my mascara and twirled to face her. "Do I get the Alice Cullen stamp of approval?"

"Most definitely!" Alice grabbed her purse and car keys. "Ready to go?"

"Yep!" We were soon seated in her car, cruising on the boulevard that took us across campus.

Hopps was a small place, but seemed popular enough. We barely managed to find a parking space amidst the chaos. It reminded me of a place like Cheers, only with college students. Everyone seemed to know everyone else – Except for me.

The bouncer checked our IDs and let us in without any questions. It wasn't difficult to spot Rosalie. She was seated at a table in the corner with about four guys standing around her. I coughed back a laugh when I saw the expression of disinterest and irritation on her face.

"Thank God you two are here!" Rosalie gave Alice and I both hugs. "These guys are driving me insane! Maybe they can hit on Bella now." Alice ordered us a round of vodka cranberries while we got settled.

"You're seem like you feel right at home now, huh Bella?" Rosalie's eyes never left my face as she stirred her drink. I swallowed, feeling uncomfortable.

"Well, yeah, it isn't as strange as I expected."

"Tanya!" Rosalie stood up, a smile lighting her face. I turned to see another girl walking towards us. She was, of course, stunningly beautiful, just like Alice and Rosalie. She had strawberry blonde hair that fell just below her waist in a sea of curls. She was about my height, with an athletic figure. She had dimples in both cheeks that appeared when she smiled. When she got closer, I noticed she had the same golden colored eyes as Alice and Rosalie. Topaz contacts must be in or something, I thought to myself.

"Alice! Rosalie! It's so good to see you both!" Tanya gave each girl a warm hug before training her eyes on me. "You must be Bella! I've heard so much about you!" Tanya gave me an equally big hug. I hugged her back, despite the fact that I'd never head her name before and I had no idea who she was.

"Bella, this is Tanya." I stared blankly at Alice, causing her to giggle. "She just moved down here from Alaska. She's Edward's girlfriend."

At first I thought I thought I heard Alice wrong. Edward had a girlfriend? He'd never mentioned it to me before. And he certainly hadn't been acting like he had a girlfriend, what with all the flattery, touching, and hand kissing. Edward had a girlfriend.

"Hello Bella? Earth to Bella?" Alice's voice brought me out of my trance. I shook my head, focusing on the situation before me.

"It's so good to meet you." I drained my vodka cranberry in one swig, the alcohol stinging my throat.

"It's good to meet you too! Edward and Alice have told me so much about you! I'm glad to finally have a face to put to the name."

"So you're all from Alaska then…?" I knew the Cullen family had recently moved to Forks, but beyond that I had no idea where they came from.

"Oh my God Bella, I can't believe I never told you!" Alice flagged the waitress down and ordered another round of drinks before continuing. "We grew up in Fairbanks. Emmett and Edward have been in school down here for a few years. That's how I met Jasper. I was the last to go off to college this fall. Our mother, Esme, was pretty bummed that we would all be so far away, and our father, Carlisle, had been contemplating starting his own practice for years. They visited Washington, fell in love with Forks, and here we all are now. Tanya's family is still up in Alaska."

"Bella and Edward are good friends, aren't you Bella?" Rosalie's abrupt change of subject took me by surprise. Her tone was anything but friendly and she was clearly trying to turn the conversation in an uncomfortable direction.

"Well, I wouldn't say we're good friends. We've only hung out a few times, with the rest of the family." I twisted my straw between my fingers, causing it to crack in several places.

"Edward is just that kind of guy." Tanya smiled at me. "So where are you from Bella?"

"I was born in Forks, but I grew up in Dallas, Phoenix, and L.A. with my mom." I noticed Rosalie's eyes were glued to Alice, who didn't appear to be breathing. Her gaze was fixed on the wall behind Rosalie. She never moved, but her expression was changing rapidly from shock to horror.

"Alice?" I grabbed her shoulder and shook her gently. She blinked several times before looking at me.

"Oh, Bella!" Alice threw her arms around me in a hug. "I'm sorry! I must have spaced out there for a minute." She turned to Rosalie. "Wanna hit the ladies' room with me?"

We talked and drank for the rest of the night. Tanya told me bits and pieces about her relationship with Edward, and by the time we went home, I knew that they'd met in high school and had been together for four years. They were stereotypical high school sweethearts who did practically everything together. It made me sick to hear all this, but it made me even sicker that Tanya was so nice. I just couldn't bring myself to hate her.

On the way up to our dorm, Alice stopped me in the hallway. "Bella, please be careful when classes start next week." Her eyes were shadowed with fright.

"You don't need to worry about me Alice." I unlocked the door to our room and kicked off my shoes. "Los Angeles is like five times the size of the Seattle metro. I'll be fine."

"There are things in Seattle that a Los Angeles girl couldn't even begin to dream of." Alice grabbed her shower basket and robe and headed off towards the bathroom. I peeled my dress off and slipped into my pajamas. As I crawled between the covers and closed my eyes, I couldn't stop the feeling of dread that had worked its way in to my stomach.

---

Five weeks later, I'd settled into a very comfortable routine. Alice convinced me to rearrange my class schedule, so I now had one class with her, one with Jasper, and two with Edward. All of my classes were in the late afternoon and early evening, which I thought might be a drag, but was actually turning out to be all right.

Over the course of the last month I'd started to notice small details about the Cullens. For example, Alice's eyes seemed to change color. For all I knew it could be contacts, but there'd been several instances when her eyes were a deep blue color. Oddly enough, on those few days when Alice's eyes weren't their normal shade of topaz, she didn't go to class. She'd confine herself to our dorm or disappear all together, going to stay with Emmett or Jasper. Then there was the anorexia aspect. None of the Cullens ever seemed to eat. Tanya, Jasper, and Rosalie were the same way. They'd push their food around on their plates, take small sips of beverages (except for alcoholic ones – they loved those), and usually brought home leftovers. Our dorm mini-fridge was stocked with all my munchies and about ten to go boxes that Alice never touched. I couldn't decide if they were shy or just plain dysfunctional.
It didn't really matter though. They were my good friends – my only friends in Seattle – and, truthfully, they felt more like family to me.

It was Wednesday evening and Edward and I had just gotten out of British Literature class. Alice met us in the courtyard as we were headed back to the dorm.

"So, Bella, I'm going to throw a party this weekend." Alice turned to me, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"In our dorm?" I was a bit alarmed. We'd already made it on the RA's radar for being noisy when coming in late at night. I didn't want to get in too much trouble; At least not this early in the school year.

"No, silly. At my parent's place in Forks." Alice must have noticed the skeptical look on my face because she continued quickly. "Our parents are going away for their anniversary. It's a perfect opportunity to ring in the fall and for you to meet some new people! I've already made all the arrangements. We'll ride home with Edward and Tanya tomorrow after class."

Tanya. The name cut through me like glass. I'd spent the past five weeks trying to grasp the fact that Edward had a girlfriend. I'd seen enough of her – she was in one of my classes and always seemed to be at Emmett's apartment. But every time Edward and I were alone, it was like nothing and nobody else in the world existed.

"Um, so, who exactly is going to be there?"

"Oh, well, the usual crowd, plus some good friends of ours from the Quileute reservation. Some of the local Forks kids are coming too." Everyone who knew me in Forks knew me as "Chief Swan's clumsy daughter." I hoped that none of these people would put in an appearance.

"That sounds great!" I forced a smile despite my nervousness. I really wasn't a big fan of parties. I'd spend the majority of my life as a wallflower. Even though I'd hung out at Hopps with Alice a few times, I wasn't entirely comfortable with the whole scene.

"Maybe we should stop at the mall to get you a new party dress?" Alice was practically bouncing up and down in her seat.

I held my hands up in protest. "Oh no no no. I've seen enough of the mall since I got her to last me until I'm 20."

"Oh fine." Alice crossed her arms and pretended to pout. "I've probably got something special for you to wear anyhow." Edward pulled the Audi to a stop in front of our dorm. Alice stepped out while Edward came around and opened my door for me.

"Thank you." I could feel the blush rise in my cheeks. I turned to go and felt a cold hand on my arm.

"Meet me down here tonight around Midnight?" Edward whispered, looking at me intensely. I faltered slightly beneath his gaze. He let go of my arm and got back in to his car.

"Bella c'mon! We have to figure out what you're going to wear!" I watched the Audi disappear around the corner before joining Alice on the stairs. I followed her inside, trying to collect my thoughts and catch my breath, amazed yet again at the effect I let Edward have on me.

---

Several hours later I was getting ready to meet Edward. Conveniently enough, Alice had decided to go to Emmett's at the last minute. I lied and said I was tired and needed rest. This proved easier than trying to explain I was going to meet her older brother (whose girlfriend everyone was fond of) in the middle of the night.

I had no idea what Edward wanted or if we would be going somewhere. I didn't want to show up in my pajamas, but I didn't want to overdress either. I settled on a pair of Silver flares (a brand I'd never even realized existed until Alice drug me into the Buckle last week) and a maroon sweater. I grabbed my keys and wallet and headed down to the street.

The Audi was already on the curb when I arrived. Seeing Edward make no move to get out, I opened the passenger door and slid into the now familiar seat. I barely had the door closed before Edward pulled away from the curb.

"You look beautiful." Edward reached over and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. Despite the cold touch of his fingertips, my cheeks heated up with a blush.

"So what's the occasion?" I stared at the road in front of us, recognizing the route. From what I could tell, we were headed to the sound.

"There are some things I wanted to talk to you about." Edward reached over and turned on the heat. "Are you cold? I'm sorry to be so inconsiderate." I smiled weakly, a familiar feeling of nervousness swimming in my stomach.

"No, don't worry. I think most of my thin California blood has thickened to accommodate the Seattle climate." A strange expression crossed Edward's face, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it here. I was afraid at first that you wouldn't get adjusted to things."

"I was too. Really, I owe it all to Alice and your family. Had you guys not been so welcoming, I don't think that I'd of lasted past the first week of classes." Edward pulled the car to a stop in front of Pier 70.
He came around and opened my door for me. I stood on the sidewalk and breathed in the salty air. I'd always loved the water. Charlie and I had spent plenty of days at First Beach when I was growing up. Seattle was different though. The glowing lights of the city reflected beautifully off the sound's surface.
Tonight the full moon overhead carved a path across the large black mass. I followed Edward on to the pier, taking a seat next to him on one of the many benches.

"So…" My voice trailed off when I looked up at him. His eyes were filled with sadness.

"I know I wasn't exactly honest with you about Tanya." Edward finally looked away, staring out at the water instead. "I should have told you about her right away when we first started hanging out."

"Really Edward, you don't need to apologize." I swallowed back the lump that had entered my throat. "It isn't any of my business."

"No, Bella, you need to hear this." He took a deep breath and looked at me again. "Tanya and I … it's hard to explain. I don't want to say I'm bound to her, because that sounds bad, but I feel that's the best way to describe it. Her family is very different in their way of thinking. They're very old fashioned. In their eyes, our partnership is almost like a contractual agreement to get married and have this perfect life together. And at one point in time … Up until this fall really, I was perfectly content with that." He licked his lips and continued. "All that changed when I met you."

"I don't understand why you're telling me all of this?" It stung, hearing about his strong commitment to Tanya. And it angered me that he felt the need to rub everything in.

"Bella, I've never met anyone like you before." Edward took my hand in his and held it loosely. "You're intelligent, witty, and entirely unconcerned with the shallow things in life. You're beautiful and strong, yet at the same time you're naive and vulnerable. Being in your presence for a few minutes is enough to leave me happy for days. You're this incredible woman and I can't imagine my life right now without you being a part of it." I shook my head, taking in his words. He felt something for me, that much was clear. What it was exactly was a bit harder to figure out.

"What are you trying to say Edward?" I couldn't keep the irritation from creeping into my voice. I clenched and unclenched my fists, took a deep breath, and looked him directly in the eye.

"I'm trying to tell you that I'm regretful this can't go anywhere beyond friendship." He looked away, his eyes falling once again on the vast expanse of water before us.

"Well, thank you for letting me know something I wasn't already aware of." Sarcasm dripped from my every word. I stood up abruptly and took off for the car. Edward caught up to me in no time, his hand squeezing my shoulder.

"Bella, I never meant to hurt you. I had no idea things were going to come down to this. Believe me, if I did, I never would have allowed myself to become so close to you."

I yanked my arm away and wrapped it protectively around myself. "Take me home Edward. Now." I got in the Audi and slammed the door. I kept my eyes fixed on my window, knowing if I looked at him now I might break down completely. Neither of us said anything else, and when the car came to a stop in front of my dorm, I got out as quickly as I could.

"Bella…" Edward grabbed my hand and spun me around to face him. His lips, cold as ice, lingered on my cheek for a moment. His thumb caressed the palm of my hand and I almost forgot where I was.
Then, just like that, he dropped my hand and got in the Audi. Reality crashed down around me as I watched Edward drive away. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks or the pain from gnawing greedily at the edges of my heart. I didn't know how I was going to survive the car ride to Forks tomorrow, let alone make it through an entire weekend with both Edward and Tanya. The only thing I did know as I made my way up to the dorm was that I was ridiculously in love with Edward Cullen.