Endless Night: Chapter 8 - Confessions

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CHAPTER 8 – CONFESSIONS

Bella's POV

The rest of the week went by fast and soon it was Thursday. Edward insisted that I ride back to school with him so Alice and Jasper were going to drive my car there. I was still in the dark about his past with Tanya and I saw the drive home as a prime opportunity to ask him about it again.

"Dad, Edward's here!" I called up the stairs. Charlie appeared in the kitchen a minute later with a yellow colored gift bag in his hand. "What is that?"

"Happy Birthday Bell!" He set the bag on the kitchen table and gave me a hug. "I know it's a few weeks early, but you'll be away at school and I don't know if I'll have time to make the trip down there to see you."

Edward poked his head through the doorway. "I didn't know your birthday was coming up."

"Oh yeah, it's on the 23rd." I waved my hand dismissively and started to tear at the tissue covering the top of the bag. Inside was a beautiful leather journal. It was turquoise colored with a raised gold pattern covering it. I ran my fingers over the intricate design and untied the thick ribbon that held it closed. A Barnes and Noble gift card as well as an envelope containing what I assumed to be my birthday card fell out on the table.

"I hope you like it." Charlie shifted uncomfortably. "I know you love to write and read. Well, you did when you were younger at least. I thought it suited you."

I swallowed the emotion in my throat and smiled at Charlie. "I love it, Dad. I didn't bring a journal with me, so this is perfect. Thank you so much!" I stepped forward and gave him a hug. He hugged me back and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"You kids better hit the road. I'm sure you've got plenty to take care of when you get back to the city." Charlie drew me in for one final embrace before clamping his hand down on Edward's shoulder. "Be careful with her heart, Edward. I have a 45 and a shovel and I know how to use them both." Charlie smiled smugly but the look in his eyes was very serious.

"I would never do anything to harm her heart, Mr. Swan." Edward picked up my bags and stepped out onto the porch. I gave Charlie a half-smile and waved.

"Bye Dad."

"See you later, Bell."

"Do you want to stop at the diner and get lunch before we leave?" Edward had the car loaded and was leaning against the trunk lazily. He looked amazing, as always. He wore a pair of loose fitting dark-wash jeans, a Jagermeister t-shirt, and a black corduroy jacket. He had a black beanie on, but a few stray strands of untamed hair poked out around the edges. His jaw was coated with a layer of dark colored stubble and his eyes were the brightest shade of gold I'd ever seen them. I stopped at the edge of the driveway, admiring him and wondering for the millionth time how the stars aligned and put us together.

"I had some cereal before you got here. I'm good for a while if you'd like to get on the road."

Edward ran his fingertips along my jaw, tucking his thumb underneath my chin and raising my face to his. His lips brushed mine in a sweet, sensual kiss. He opened the passenger door for me and held my hand as I climbed inside. Once we were on the 101, he turned the radio on and selected a CD.

"Moondance is one of my favorites," I said. I reached over and turned the volume up, humming along with the familiar tune.

"You're beautiful, smart, witty, and you have good taste in music. Is there anything about you that doesn't scream perfection?"

I laughed and blushed. "You've only seen the tip of the iceberg. There are layers of imperfection all over beneath the surface." I wasn't sure if the silence following my statement was awkward or not, but it didn't bother me, and evidently it didn't bother Edward either.

I watched the trees fly by us out the window. He has lots of hidden layers too, you know my subconscious reminded me. I wanted to ask him about Tanya, but we'd only just begun our trip and I didn't want to upset him and start things off on the wrong foot. I played with the buttons on my coat, trying to think of a good way to start the conversation. Fortunately I was saved by his curiosity.

"How come you didn't tell me your birthday was approaching?" He sounded hurt.

"I didn't even think about it, to be honest." I pulled a cigarette out of my purse and held it out to him. 

He accepted it with a smile, lighting it before offering me his lighter. "It's not like it's a nationally recognized holiday or something."

He snorted. "We're about to change that." He noticed my nervous expression and rubbed his hand along my forearm. "We'll just make it a Bella and Edward recognized holiday. How does that sound?"

I couldn't help but smile. "That sounds perfect."

"That leaves me with … 17 days to figure out how I'm going to spoil you rotten for your birthday." 

Edward's eyes twinkled mischievously.

He looked too excited for me to protest. "You won't hear me complaining. Of course, my birthday can't be the only Bella and Edward recognized holiday. When is yours?"

"October 8."

"That makes you a…" I tapped my finger against my chin, pretending to be lost in deep thought. 

"Libra!"

"One of the best astrological matches for you, my dear Aquarius." I bit my tongue to keep from laughing.

"Please don't tell me I could find you holed up in your dorm with your horoscope every morning." I snickered at the visual in my head. "And for the record, I'm a Capricorn-Aquarius cusp. I get the best of both worlds, thank you very much."

"Pfft. Technicalities." He turned the heat down and merged into the fast lane. "I only glance at my horoscope for shits and giggles."

"Thank goodness." I shifted in my seat and trained my eyes on the outside scenery once again. We'd been on the road for an hour now and I was still dying to ask about Tanya. Our playful banter served as a good distraction, but it was only temporary. Before I knew it I was lost in my own thoughts once again.

Some questions were better left unanswered.

I wasn't sure if this was one of them. I wished I had the courage to find out.

---

Edward's POV

Bella was staring out the window distractedly when we reached the outskirts of Port Angeles. I'd been slightly irritated with her for not telling me her birthday was approaching, but when she asked me when mine was I realized I hadn't yet told her, and therefore I didn't really have a right to be upset. Now I was just plain concerned because she'd seemed anxious since we left her house. I thought our not-at-all-serious astrology talk would lighten her mood, but as soon as we fell silent she became sullen. I reached over and squeezed her hand. She started and looked up at me.

"I know something is wrong. Spill it," I said, turning the radio down and entwining my fingers with hers. She bit her lip and looked out the passenger window, sighing in what I guessed was frustration.

"I didn't want to start this conversation so soon on our trip."

I knew what she wanted to talk about. Bella had showered me with questions about Tanya for the past few days. I knew I needed to give her some answers but I didn't know what to say. How does a man go about telling his girlfriend that he isn't entirely human and his ex is a supernatural creature that is perfectly capable of killing whomever she pleases?

"Bella …" My voice trailed off and I rubbed small circles on her palm with my thumb.

"Please Edward? I need to know what I'm walking into when I get back to school." She played with a strand of her hair, looking away from me. "More importantly, I need to know you. I want to know everything there is to know about you. I'll tell you anything you want to know about me, Edward. I have nothing to hide."

"I have nothing hide either, Bella, I'm just not sure if now is the right time to say what I need to." I took a deep breath, exited the highway and came to a stop in the parking lot of Pettit Oil. I ran my hands through my hair and rested my forehead on the steering wheel.

"Nothing you say could make run away, Edward." Her voice was soft and quiet. She rubbed my back soothingly, easing some of the tension her questions made me feel.

I took a deep breath and turned to face her. I covered one of her hands with both of my mine and stared into her eyes. "I'm part vampire, Bella." Perhaps I was a bit tooblunt, but I didn't see any other way to do this.

I expected her to try to run or scream or get sick or … any type of reaction a person has when they're told something horrific. Instead, she bit her lip and looked down at her lap, erupting into a fit of explosive laughter.

"Part vampire, Edward? Really? I wasn't born yesterday." She shrugged her hand away from me to 

wipe away her tears of laughter. "You don't have to joke around to try and ease me into this. I'm asking you to tell me about your past. I can handle whatever you throw my way."

I glanced out the windshield to make sure nobody could see us. I closed my eyes and pulled her arm to my face. I ran my nose along her wrist, the tip grazing the vein that lay just beneath the skin, inhaling deeply the whole time. I looked up at her and smiled. To a passerby, my fangs were barely noticeable. Bella, however, had spent enough time lip locked with me over the last week that she saw them right away. A shiver ran through her arm. I lifted her index finger to my mouth and swirled my tongue around the tip before biting down on it very softly. Her skin broke easily and a tiny pearl of blood peeked out.

"Oh. My. God." She pulled her arm away from me and wiped her hand on her jeans. Her eyes were wide with a mixture of fascination and fright. She reached out cautiously and ran her finger over my fang. I closed my eyes and stilled my breathing. "How … How does this happen? How can you even exist like…" She gestured towards me. "…this?"

"Please don't be scared, Bella." Who the hell was I kidding? Most people thought vampires only existed on the silver screen. We were always portrayed as blood thirsty, murderous demons with nothing better to do than go on destructive killing sprees. Because of this, we couldn't reveal ourselves to mankind. We weren't afforded the chance to prove everyone wrong. Then again, this wasn't necessarily a bad thing, because truly carnivorous vampires did exist, and I couldn't even imagine what would happen if they were to roam free in society.

"But you … you go to class every day, Edward. You're outside all the time and you enjoy it. You don't look any different than most of the people I've met in Washington."

I reached out and cupped her face in my palms. She became rigid and leaned away from me. I caressed her cheeks with my thumbs and looked down at her hands. They were wrung together tightly in her lap.

"My mother and father met in Boston in1926. She was a forward thinking woman, all about change and independence. She'd signed up for art classes at a local college and my father was her teacher." I smiled when I remembered her. She'd always had a rebellious streak. I never had to guess who Alice got most of her traits from. "She fell in love with him right away, but it went unrequited for quite some time. Then one day after class he invited her out to dinner. She couldn't say no, even though she had a gut feeling it was a bad idea. He was tall, dark, and handsome, and his knowledge of seventeenth and eighteenth century European art fascinated her. One date turned into a series of dates, and my mother found herself falling more and more in love with him.

The last night she saw him was the night he took her to bed. After it was over, he confessed what he was – a vampire – and told her he was leaving the next day. He told her this was for her safety and the safety of "those now with her." She was too heartbroken to find absurdity in his revelation, and just as he'd said, when she awoke the next morning he was gone. Two months later she found out she was pregnant with twins."

Bella sat still in complete silence. Her features had relaxed a bit and her hands now rested limply on her knees. She blinked several times before reaching out and placing her palm against my chest.

"Twins? You have a sibling somewhere?"

"Not just somewhere, Bella – she lives in your dorm room." Bella's hand flew to her mouth and a surprised squeak escaped her lips. I continued my story. "Shortly before our birth, my father sent a doctor he knew very well to stay with Mom. He assisted with both my and Alice's deliveries and gave her guidance on how to raise two half-vamps. I'm sure it was hell for her when we were younger. I wish she was here now to see how far we've come."

"What happened? To your mother?"

"She passed away from cancer in 1972." My eyes grew misty when I thought about that day. "After that Alice and I did a lot of traveling. We spent time with others like us, but we never felt like we really fit in anywhere. Then we stumbled upon Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper and the rest is history."

I slipped my hands off of Bella's cheeks and gripped the steering wheel. I had no idea what she was thinking – or feeling – and that killed me. She must not be too scared; she hasn't made a run for it yet.

"Wow." She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. "I don't even know what to say right now. This is huge, Edward. HUGE. Can you even be with me, since I'm a human? Never mind, your dad was with your mom so obviously you can but, I mean, are you comfortable being with me?" The rambling was back. I put my finger to her lips to silence her.

"Bella, please. How could you even ask me if I was comfortable being with you? I'm the one that's just dropped a bomb here. I honestly don't know why you haven't gotten out of the car and called the authorities or something."

She shook her head, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "If I call the authorities they'll send my dad and he's likely to show up with that 45 and shovel. And Alice, sweet, cute, innocent little 

Alice is half vampire? And the rest of your family too, I'm guessing? Or wait, you said you found them? Are they even your family?"

"We consider them to be family. They're the closest things to family that Alice and I will ever find – except for you." I added. "To answer your question, yes, the rest of them are vampires, although they are full-blooded, unlike Alice and I."

"What exactly is the difference between a half-vamp and a full-blooded one?" She was rambling nervously.

"Before I tell you, I need to ask you to please push any of the Hollywood vampire clichés out of your mind." She bit her lip and nodded. "I'm sure there's a Draculaish asshole somewhere out there, but everyone isn't like that. Half-vamps – like Alice and me – tend to have more human qualities. We eat food and our temperature is only slightly lower than that of a normal human. Our complexions aren't concerning because usually we don't grow any more pale than your average Joe would during the winter months. Full-blooded vamps can still eat, but they despise the taste and consistency of food, so they usually avoid it. Their temperature is significantly lower than that of a human, and as a result, they have to be much more careful about human contact. Their skin tone is also remarkably lighter so they have a few extra measures to go to in order to be out in the sun."

"But… I don't understand. I hugged Carlisle and Esme, Charlie shook Carlisle's hand … we didn't notice anything. I'm almost sure Charlie would have freaked if Carlisle felt like an icebox. And what about blood? There has to be something you aren't telling me."

She never missed a beat. "We do need blood." I chose my words carefully. "Blood makes it possible for us to be exposed to sunlight. Without it, our bodies feel like they're on fire, even though there are no physical signs. Our eyes also change color if we don't have enough of it, as I'm sure you've noticed on more than one occasion."

"It all makes sense now…" Her voice trailed off and she distracted herself with the buttons on her coat. "I'm the only one who ever clears my plate when we go out for dinner. Alice always disappears when her eyes get blue – I'm guessing they revert back to their original color when you don't have enough – blood?" She forced herself to say the last word. I nodded in confirmation. "I still can't figure out the body temperature thing, and I have a million questions I want to ask, but we have two hours of driving left, so I fully intend on getting more information out of you."

I was shocked. "You still want to travel the rest of the way to Seattle with me?"

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Duh. You think I'm going to let you abandon me here at some po-dunk gas station? There's probably an axe murderer hiding in the forest or something."

"You'll agree to spend two hours in a car with a vampire but you're scared of Port Angeles?" I smirked. "You never cease to amaze me, Bella Swan."

She was staring at me in awe. I didn't know why, but I wasn't going to complain. At least she hadn't kicked me to the curb… yet. "I do have one more question. Where does said blood come from? And how does Tanya fit into this equation? I guess that's two questions."

"Carlisle runs a blood bank out of his clinic. There's a steady stream of donors and, as you can imagine, Forks doesn't have a high demand for transfusions, so we have access to it at all times." I can't read her expression. "If there's ever a time when we can't get it from him, we resort to animals. 

Bella, I'd never want to hurt another person. Surely you must know that by now."

She nodded wordlessly and took my hand in hers. It gave me the push I needed to continue.

"Tanya is also a vampire, as I'm sure you guessed. Her family is full-blooded. I don't want to get into all the sordid details right now, but she used what we are against me for years to keep me by her side. 

She always threatened to expose my family to the rest of the population. There were a few times when she threatened to hurt human friends I'd made in school. She never followed through on anything, but I loved everyone around me too much to take any risks by leaving her.

Her parents believe in the idea of mating. Essentially that means when two vampires stay together in a relationship for more than one year, they consider them bonded for life. It's almost like an arranged marriage. My family would never push me to be with somebody I didn't love, but between Tanya's threats and her family's insistence, none of us knew what else to do."

"What was so different about me, Edward?" Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. "Why did you change all of that for me? Why are you taking such a big risk for me?"

I tilted her face up so she was looking me in the eyes. "I've never felt like this for anyone before, 

Bella. You've enraptured me since the first time I ever saw you. Everything about you delights and amazes me. Within minutes of talking to you I knew I had to be with you. That's never happened with anyonebefore, Bella, not even Tanya." I didn't want to say too much. She'd been blindsided enough for today. "I talked to Carlisle before I talked to you on the roof. They only want to see me happy. They're willing to help me protect you, protect our family. I would do anything for you Bella."

I leaned across the console and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. She rested her head on my shoulder and smiled.

"You don't hate me, do you Bella?"

"Hate you? Edward Cullen, I could never hate you. I'm intrigued, if anything. I love that I'm getting to know you and that you're letting me in. There are still so many layers to peel back, but I know we'll get there with time." Her stomach growled loudly. "Right now I need food. Shall we?" She gestured to the truck stop attached to the gas station. I let out a breath of relief and nodded.

I put my arm around her waist and she leaned her head against my shoulder. I was feeling such a vast mixture of emotions – shock, relief, happiness, excitement, and most of all … love.

The truth was out in the open and my girlfriend was still by my side.

What more could a half-vamp guy ask for?

---

Tanya's POV

She's human,I thought to myself.

She has a beating heart that pumps a steady, warm stream of blood through her veins. She feels emotions and acts on them. She can blush, she can quiver … Her body responds to his in ways I can't even imagine.

I'd spent the past four days trying to figure out what it was that drew Edward to Bella. It couldn't be her looks, I mean, she was sub-par, if that. Ok, maybe she was beautiful, in a totally earthy, natural sort of way. It wasn't for her money, Edward had enough of that himself. I ticked off different items in my mind and none of them made sense … except the human part.

I filed this knowledge away in my brain for future use.

If Bella's human qualities were what drew Edward to her, then maybe it was time someone – me, perhaps – figured out a way to rid her of those qualities. Then he would see her for what she really was and realize he made a terrible mistake.

I was ready to set my plans in motion.

All I needed now was a little alone time with Bella.